1 00:01:09,773 --> 00:01:13,243 How come the dog gets to sit in there while we're freezing our ass off out here? 2 00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:15,324 It would be cruel to let him out on a night like this. 3 00:01:15,413 --> 00:01:18,723 - He's just a dumb animal. - No, Dave, we're the dumb animals. 4 00:01:22,853 --> 00:01:24,332 Keep it right there. 5 00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:27,082 Over to the side. Y eah, yeah. Stay back. 6 00:01:29,373 --> 00:01:30,806 A little girl? 7 00:01:31,413 --> 00:01:33,722 - I'm coming. All right, I'm here. - Y eah. 8 00:01:34,453 --> 00:01:36,250 Where were you on the stairway, asshole? 9 00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:39,405 - I was looking for you. - Oh, yeah, looking for me. 10 00:01:39,853 --> 00:01:44,051 This is my kind of night, Dave. The wind chill factor's 10 below zero... 11 00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:47,728 that building's an inferno, my stomach's a goddamn volcano... 12 00:01:47,813 --> 00:01:50,611 and I got an icicle of snot hanging from my nose. 13 00:01:51,893 --> 00:01:55,203 That's it. This is my last fire. I'm hanging up my hose. 14 00:01:55,293 --> 00:01:57,443 Bullshit, Jack. I've heard that from you 1,000 times. 15 00:01:57,533 --> 00:01:59,649 - Bullshit? Oh, yeah? - Bullshit. 16 00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:01,885 Read this, pal, and weep. 17 00:02:01,973 --> 00:02:04,487 "Paradise for Pennies. A Garden of Eden... 18 00:02:04,573 --> 00:02:08,452 "built on a secluded lagoon, with its own private dock and speedboat included. 19 00:02:08,533 --> 00:02:12,162 - "Contact Mr. Banks, Saint Nicholas." - Where the hell is Saint Nicholas? 20 00:02:12,253 --> 00:02:14,926 - It's in the islands, Dave. - Which islands? 21 00:02:15,053 --> 00:02:17,487 Nice, warm islands. 22 00:02:23,413 --> 00:02:24,846 Go on, ma'am. 23 00:02:24,933 --> 00:02:27,845 - My baby is in there. - Y es, I know. 24 00:02:27,933 --> 00:02:29,127 My baby. 25 00:02:29,213 --> 00:02:31,090 Damn it. Hand me that crowbar. 26 00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:35,166 Let me know what's happening. Let me know what the spread is. 27 00:02:35,253 --> 00:02:36,891 - Move along! - Where's he going? 28 00:02:36,973 --> 00:02:38,770 Get in after him! 29 00:02:49,573 --> 00:02:50,767 Oh, shit! 30 00:02:56,013 --> 00:02:58,243 Come on, baby. It's me, Jack. 31 00:02:58,653 --> 00:02:59,802 Come on. 32 00:03:02,213 --> 00:03:03,965 Come on, baby. 33 00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:06,449 Y ou want to play? 34 00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:09,210 Y ou furry piece of shit. 35 00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:15,211 Get the net! Come on, babe. 36 00:03:17,053 --> 00:03:19,283 Come on, baby. Y eah! Get it, baby. 37 00:03:40,013 --> 00:03:42,732 Jack, Jack! Oh, Jesus! Jack! 38 00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,365 Dave. 39 00:03:48,973 --> 00:03:50,929 - Jack. - Dave. 40 00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:52,241 I'm here, Jack. 41 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:54,732 I quit. 42 00:03:55,093 --> 00:03:56,242 Son of a bitch. 43 00:03:57,133 --> 00:03:58,885 Jack, can you hear me? 44 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,807 Shit. 45 00:04:03,253 --> 00:04:05,608 Jack! 46 00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:30,642 Limbo time, everybody. How low can you go? 47 00:07:33,893 --> 00:07:36,202 Do you mind, Jack? It's awfully loud, isn't it? 48 00:07:36,293 --> 00:07:39,171 "Awfully loud, isn't it?" Quite true. Sorry. 49 00:07:39,253 --> 00:07:40,481 Terribly sorry. 50 00:07:40,573 --> 00:07:44,088 Jack, this is Captain Toby Prooth and Phillipa Lloyd. 51 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:47,643 They just came in from Antigua. Toby has the most beautiful sloop. 52 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,770 Y es, he does. Are you cast or crew? 53 00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:52,561 Strictly crew. 54 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,365 And, of course, you know the Governor. 55 00:07:54,453 --> 00:07:57,968 Oh, the formerly honorable Anthony Croyden Hayes. Y our Excellency. 56 00:07:58,053 --> 00:08:00,169 Good gracious, man, are you still here? 57 00:08:00,253 --> 00:08:03,006 Y ou remind me of a sort of strange vegetation that just popped up... 58 00:08:03,093 --> 00:08:05,971 and now we can't get rid of. It seems that you've been here for a year. 59 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:09,363 Oh, it's just been five months. But tempus really fugits when you're having fun. 60 00:08:09,453 --> 00:08:12,570 That's what I love about you tourists: The instant you get your pink feet... 61 00:08:12,653 --> 00:08:15,804 into some sand, you start thinking about giving up the dry-cleaning business... 62 00:08:15,893 --> 00:08:17,246 in Cleveland and moving to the islands. 63 00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:19,688 Are you in the dry-cleaning business, Mr. Moniker? 64 00:08:19,773 --> 00:08:22,162 Hat-blocking? Xerox repair? 65 00:08:22,253 --> 00:08:24,926 Fireman, sir. Chicago fireman. Retired. 66 00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:28,291 - That's interesting. - There's a smashing yacht club... 67 00:08:28,373 --> 00:08:30,523 in Chicago. Belmont Harbor. 68 00:08:30,613 --> 00:08:32,683 Well, you see, yachting's a little tough in Chicago... 69 00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:35,128 'cause they tend to shoot at you from the South Shore. 70 00:08:35,213 --> 00:08:38,967 Y es, you have a nice, steady kind of violence in the States. Very predictable. 71 00:08:39,053 --> 00:08:43,365 Here in the jungle, it's basically long, tedious periods of sweltering doldrums... 72 00:08:43,453 --> 00:08:47,002 punctuated by the occasional bloodbath. I think we're due for one at any minute. 73 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,765 Now, now, Tony... 74 00:08:48,853 --> 00:08:52,482 don't start those wild rumors about revolution again. 75 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,529 Well, it happened in Kenya, didn't it? 76 00:08:54,613 --> 00:08:57,491 They dragged those fat burghers from their beds in the dead of night... 77 00:08:57,573 --> 00:08:59,928 forced them to drink blood through a severed sheep's penis... 78 00:09:00,013 --> 00:09:02,163 and then hacked them to pieces with machetes. 79 00:09:02,253 --> 00:09:04,244 It isn't bad as all that. 80 00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:06,847 Besides, I don't think there are any sheep on Saint Nicholas. 81 00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:09,083 I heard about this guy in Cicero. 82 00:09:09,893 --> 00:09:14,205 He stiffed a loan shark. So a couple of these guys got him. Cut off his arm... 83 00:09:14,293 --> 00:09:15,442 beat him to death with the arm... 84 00:09:15,533 --> 00:09:18,605 then shoved the arm in a food processor, and made a dip out of it. 85 00:09:18,693 --> 00:09:20,923 Then they served it to his family at his sister's wedding. 86 00:09:21,013 --> 00:09:23,402 And his sister loved it so much she wanted the recipe. 87 00:09:23,493 --> 00:09:24,972 It's a crazy world, isn't it? 88 00:09:25,053 --> 00:09:28,170 Y ou two are a cheerful pair. Flotsam and jetsam. 89 00:09:28,253 --> 00:09:29,732 My dear young lady, unlike you... 90 00:09:29,813 --> 00:09:33,010 I have not spent my life cruising from discotheque to discotheque... 91 00:09:33,093 --> 00:09:36,051 with my ass hanging out of a French-cut bathing suit. 92 00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:39,205 - Y ou're missing all the fun, aren't you? - I suspect you're right. 93 00:09:39,293 --> 00:09:41,887 Prooth, I'll be stopping by the Club Paradise later. 94 00:09:41,973 --> 00:09:43,725 There's some wonderful music. 95 00:09:43,813 --> 00:09:47,123 - We have other plans. - I bet you do, you party Cossack. 96 00:09:47,213 --> 00:09:50,205 Be careful. Somewhere on this island, there's a doll with your face on it. 97 00:09:50,293 --> 00:09:52,045 Voodoo. Ta-ta. Take care. 98 00:10:21,453 --> 00:10:23,648 - Mr. Monkey. - Oh, Miss Pansy. 99 00:10:25,773 --> 00:10:27,650 - Bless you, girl. - No problem. 100 00:10:27,733 --> 00:10:29,132 Have a time. 101 00:10:31,013 --> 00:10:32,731 Y eah, man. Whiskey. 102 00:10:34,093 --> 00:10:37,802 Radical. Y es, man. Evening, girls. 103 00:10:53,373 --> 00:10:54,692 - Hello, again. - Hello. 104 00:10:54,773 --> 00:10:56,001 Bug spray? 105 00:10:56,413 --> 00:10:58,165 No, thanks. They don't bother me. 106 00:10:58,253 --> 00:11:01,529 They will. Take it from me. I'm Island Jack. 107 00:11:03,493 --> 00:11:06,371 Oh, really? And what island are you from? 108 00:11:06,453 --> 00:11:09,525 - Ellis, originally. - So what do you do around here? 109 00:11:09,613 --> 00:11:12,127 After you left the Palms, they said you were a smuggler. 110 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,965 No, I'm a snuggler. 111 00:11:15,453 --> 00:11:16,932 No, actually, I'm retired. 112 00:11:17,013 --> 00:11:20,449 I live off a big insurance settlement from the fire department. 113 00:11:20,693 --> 00:11:23,002 - Fraud? - No. Injury. 114 00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:26,532 Permanently and totally disabled in the line of duty. 115 00:11:26,613 --> 00:11:28,046 Y ou seem fit enough. 116 00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:31,170 - But inside, I'm a mess. - I don't doubt it. 117 00:11:32,293 --> 00:11:35,683 - Would you care to dance? - Y eah, why not? 118 00:11:38,733 --> 00:11:40,689 I think we better sit this one out. 119 00:11:40,773 --> 00:11:43,162 Thank you. I told you I was injured. 120 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,447 Phillipa. 121 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,284 Can we leave? This place is absolutely ghastly. 122 00:11:52,373 --> 00:11:55,046 Do you mind? I'm a close, personal friend of the owner. 123 00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:57,806 - This is the finest hotel on the island. - I wouldn't be surprised. 124 00:11:57,893 --> 00:12:00,123 Imagine trying to run a first-class hotel on this island. 125 00:12:00,213 --> 00:12:02,488 Try and find a decent chef, or even a decent cut of meat. 126 00:12:02,573 --> 00:12:06,088 And as for help, I guarantee there isn't a single native on this island... 127 00:12:06,173 --> 00:12:08,607 who's given a decent day's work since they outlawed flogging. 128 00:12:08,693 --> 00:12:10,649 Refreshing outlook. 129 00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:12,485 Fiery Jack, see you've made contact. 130 00:12:12,573 --> 00:12:15,849 Mr. Reed, Miss Phillipa Lloyd. Mr. Toby Prooth. 131 00:12:16,293 --> 00:12:19,012 Mr. Reed is the owner, manager, and musical entertainment director... 132 00:12:19,093 --> 00:12:20,446 - here at Club Paradise. - Welcome. 133 00:12:20,533 --> 00:12:23,172 Toby here was just reminiscing about the good old days. 134 00:12:23,253 --> 00:12:26,848 Flogging, slavery. Honest day's work for an honest day's beating. 135 00:12:27,293 --> 00:12:30,524 - Gone but not forgotten. - Phillipa, really, can we go? 136 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,451 I feel a colossal headache coming on. 137 00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:34,489 I feel one just about to leave. 138 00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:37,886 Why don't you run along? I think I'll stay a bit. 139 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:39,691 - Suit yourself. - Good idea. 140 00:12:39,773 --> 00:12:41,889 Take care. See you in the 17th century. 141 00:12:41,973 --> 00:12:44,043 - Will you join us? - Oh, thank you. 142 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,286 Hello. 143 00:12:47,653 --> 00:12:49,644 This is Miss Philadelphia. 144 00:12:49,733 --> 00:12:51,246 - Hi. - Hi. 145 00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:53,642 This your first time in Saint Nicholas? 146 00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:08,572 Excuse me. 147 00:13:12,733 --> 00:13:15,042 What can I do for you, Mr. Gundy? 148 00:13:16,413 --> 00:13:18,847 Nice to see you again, Ernest. 149 00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,324 Nice to see you, too, Mr. Gundy. 150 00:13:22,773 --> 00:13:24,092 Ernest... 151 00:13:24,373 --> 00:13:28,252 I come to you tonight because I am deeply, deeply concerned. 152 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,606 Now, when I became Prime Minister of Saint Nicholas... 153 00:13:31,693 --> 00:13:34,412 I told you to come to me if you had any problem. 154 00:13:36,573 --> 00:13:39,929 Now, as Minister of Finance and Minister of Tourism... 155 00:13:40,013 --> 00:13:41,366 it has come to me... 156 00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:45,526 that you are delinquent in your taxes to the amount of $6,000... 157 00:13:45,813 --> 00:13:48,566 and that you haven't paid your food and beverage taxes... 158 00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:51,008 violations of the tourism codes... 159 00:13:51,093 --> 00:13:55,052 and reports of ganja being smoked right here on these premises. 160 00:13:55,653 --> 00:13:59,009 - How can this continue? - Divine justice, Mr. Gundy. 161 00:13:59,653 --> 00:14:01,484 Life is full of miracles. 162 00:14:01,573 --> 00:14:05,361 I'm afraid it will take more than a miracle. Listen to me, Ernest. 163 00:14:06,173 --> 00:14:09,529 There is a new wind blowing across Saint Nicholas. 164 00:14:09,613 --> 00:14:11,569 I smelled it the minute you walked in. 165 00:14:11,653 --> 00:14:13,883 It's businessmen. Y ou and your bankers and your lawyers... 166 00:14:13,973 --> 00:14:15,884 are trying to business me out of here. 167 00:14:15,973 --> 00:14:19,852 Now, if you're not drinking and you're not dancing, you better be going. 168 00:14:20,253 --> 00:14:21,971 Still. Still. Stay. 169 00:14:24,253 --> 00:14:25,766 Take that... 170 00:14:34,813 --> 00:14:36,451 Two weeks. 171 00:14:36,813 --> 00:14:40,010 Then I'll crush you like a cigarette butt. 172 00:14:40,533 --> 00:14:44,606 And I haven't forgotten you, Mr. Hook and Ladder Man. 173 00:14:50,013 --> 00:14:52,004 - Fireball! - Easy. 174 00:14:53,213 --> 00:14:56,285 Y ou're not going out there unless you got a machine gun under that shirt. 175 00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:59,968 - Now, you need a lawyer. - I don't need a lawyer, man. I need money. 176 00:15:00,053 --> 00:15:02,886 Cool vibes, everyone. Part yourselves. 177 00:15:04,213 --> 00:15:05,965 What was all that about? 178 00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:08,767 Oh, the usual. Corruption. Injustice. 179 00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:14,569 The club's doing great. What's the problem? 180 00:15:14,653 --> 00:15:17,213 The problem is, my friend's a little behind on his taxes. 181 00:15:17,293 --> 00:15:19,124 About 300 years behind. 182 00:15:19,213 --> 00:15:21,363 He's gonna lose the club. 183 00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:24,365 That's too bad. This looks like a great beach. 184 00:15:24,453 --> 00:15:26,489 Y ou know, with a bit of paint and some new shutters... 185 00:15:26,573 --> 00:15:29,041 somebody could really make something out of that. Don't you think? 186 00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:30,771 Y eah. With some gasoline and a few matches... 187 00:15:30,853 --> 00:15:33,572 I could turn it into really good insurance fire. 188 00:15:34,813 --> 00:15:38,249 Don't you have any ambition? Surely, you must want something out of life. 189 00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:41,211 - Y eah. - Get off. 190 00:15:54,693 --> 00:15:58,368 Cleveland, get your thumb out of my soup. What am I paying you for? 191 00:15:58,693 --> 00:16:00,570 Go change the gloves, will you? 192 00:16:00,653 --> 00:16:02,325 I told him a million times. 193 00:16:02,413 --> 00:16:04,881 And this noise. Is this guy any good or what? 194 00:16:04,973 --> 00:16:08,170 - Oh, yes. He's real good. - He's real loud. 195 00:16:08,653 --> 00:16:12,487 Ernest! Great. Stop. Have I heard enough. 196 00:16:13,093 --> 00:16:16,290 Come on down and we'll talk. But you guys are good, very good. 197 00:16:16,373 --> 00:16:18,170 - Thank you. - Very hip. Too hip. 198 00:16:18,253 --> 00:16:19,606 Y ou can't be too hip, Mr. Zerbe. 199 00:16:19,693 --> 00:16:22,651 For the crowd I get here, they want to hear Yellow Bird In a Banana Tree. 200 00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:25,805 I could get two guys playing garbage cans, and they'd be happy. They'd smile. 201 00:16:25,893 --> 00:16:29,806 But you guys... I don't know. Y ou're too political. 202 00:16:29,893 --> 00:16:31,372 I got more songs, you know. 203 00:16:31,453 --> 00:16:32,568 Ernest, I know this business... 204 00:16:32,653 --> 00:16:35,167 and a guy who just paid $32 for a bad Veal Oscar... 205 00:16:35,253 --> 00:16:38,928 doesn't want to know the band is angry. But you keep playing at your own club. 206 00:16:39,013 --> 00:16:42,369 - How's it going over there? - They're trying to take my hotel. 207 00:16:42,453 --> 00:16:45,570 Ernest, that is not a hotel. This is a hotel. 208 00:16:45,653 --> 00:16:48,121 What you've got over there is a nice beach with a few rooms... 209 00:16:48,213 --> 00:16:50,886 that Marlin Perkins would be afraid to go in. 210 00:16:50,973 --> 00:16:54,045 Y ou know, if you were smart, you'd sell that place to me and get out of here. 211 00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:57,045 Sure, you kidding? A guy like you in New y ork with money in his pocket? 212 00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,966 Oh, forget it. Take my advice, sell it. 213 00:17:00,573 --> 00:17:04,407 I'll say this for you, Mr. Zerbe. Y ou've got style. But it's not for me. 214 00:17:06,213 --> 00:17:09,842 - Think it over. I gotta go. So good luck. - See you around. 215 00:17:31,293 --> 00:17:34,763 - So this is my room. - Very nice. 216 00:17:36,453 --> 00:17:39,809 This is still my room. And this... 217 00:17:41,733 --> 00:17:45,009 is the guest bedroom. It's for rent, you know. 218 00:17:46,293 --> 00:17:50,127 Inexpensive, very cheap. In fact, free. 219 00:17:50,773 --> 00:17:53,003 Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna pay you. 220 00:17:53,093 --> 00:17:56,290 No, thanks. If I wanted to be kept, I'd pick someone with better prospects. 221 00:17:56,373 --> 00:18:00,127 For your information, you are looking at a future partner in Club Paradise. 222 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,692 I can't believe it. I thought you were... 223 00:18:01,773 --> 00:18:04,367 completely stuck in your premature retirement fantasy. 224 00:18:04,453 --> 00:18:07,445 Well, I've got lots of fantasies. Y ou and your socks. 225 00:18:07,773 --> 00:18:11,083 Me running a club in the tropics. People winging in from all over the world. 226 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:14,006 Toilets backing up, guests complaining, checks bouncing. 227 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,891 This is the Third World, Jack. It's not that easy. 228 00:18:17,653 --> 00:18:19,450 That's always bothered me about the Third World. 229 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:22,684 I could never figure out where the other two worlds were. 230 00:18:22,813 --> 00:18:25,930 Come on, Philadelphia, stay here. Have a decent job. 231 00:18:26,293 --> 00:18:27,612 Work for me. I might even pay you. 232 00:18:27,693 --> 00:18:30,446 Y eah, but Toby and the others are sailing on to Martinique on Saturday. 233 00:18:30,533 --> 00:18:31,727 I'm meant to be going with them. 234 00:18:31,813 --> 00:18:34,122 Darling, darling, darling. Forget Toby. 235 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:38,925 The man has the warmth of a snow pea. Come on, you can live here... 236 00:18:39,013 --> 00:18:41,402 and you can leave whenever you wish. 237 00:18:41,493 --> 00:18:43,961 And you won't even have to make love to me. 238 00:18:45,013 --> 00:18:47,732 - But you'll want to. - Oh, really? 239 00:18:49,413 --> 00:18:50,926 Maybe not right away. 240 00:18:53,813 --> 00:18:56,452 Oh, I don't know, Jack. It might be fun for a while... 241 00:18:56,533 --> 00:18:58,569 No. Fun is not even the word for it. 242 00:18:58,653 --> 00:19:01,486 We are talking major life experience. 243 00:19:02,293 --> 00:19:04,443 - That's what I'm afraid of. - No, no, no. 244 00:19:04,533 --> 00:19:06,603 I'm talking major passion. 245 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,326 I'm overwhelmed. 246 00:19:09,573 --> 00:19:12,406 I'm talking time and a half for overtime... 247 00:19:13,813 --> 00:19:16,885 plus medical, dental... 248 00:19:17,853 --> 00:19:19,730 Well, why didn't you say so? 249 00:20:44,413 --> 00:20:47,325 - Randy, I think this is the place. - Okay. 250 00:20:48,053 --> 00:20:51,568 - That's it? - Y eah. Isn't that where you wanna go? 251 00:20:52,693 --> 00:20:54,843 And look at this. Look at that buffet. 252 00:20:54,933 --> 00:20:56,525 Hot buffet. I say, let's go. 253 00:20:56,613 --> 00:20:58,524 - All right, we're going. - Okay. 254 00:20:59,013 --> 00:21:01,208 So my uncle and I are going down to the islands... 255 00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:04,012 for a couple of weeks. Y ou want to come with us? 256 00:21:04,173 --> 00:21:06,243 I just got this brochure on my desk... 257 00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:09,530 about a place called Saint Nicholas. Y ou ever heard of it? 258 00:21:11,413 --> 00:21:13,324 Do you know where it is? 259 00:21:14,453 --> 00:21:16,125 "In the ocean somewhere." Right. 260 00:21:16,213 --> 00:21:18,044 Oh, God! Could we go there? 261 00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:19,122 Girls! 262 00:21:20,253 --> 00:21:22,130 Get back to work! 263 00:21:33,853 --> 00:21:36,811 This is exciting. I love small planes. 264 00:21:37,973 --> 00:21:40,407 Honey, can you just ask him how much longer we'll be circling? 265 00:21:40,493 --> 00:21:43,246 Honey, this is the man's business. I'm sure he knows what he's doing. 266 00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:44,812 Honey, just ask him. 267 00:21:45,253 --> 00:21:46,447 Oh, all right. 268 00:21:50,693 --> 00:21:53,412 - How much farther is it? - I don't know. 269 00:21:54,093 --> 00:21:57,085 A couple more inches, I think. If I could just find a hole. 270 00:21:57,173 --> 00:22:00,290 - Just find the island, okay? - Get back to your seat! 271 00:22:00,373 --> 00:22:03,410 There's a break in the clouds! I'm going for it! 272 00:22:04,773 --> 00:22:08,368 We're out! We're out! Now where the hell's the airport? 273 00:22:09,493 --> 00:22:10,767 Isn't that the runway? 274 00:22:10,853 --> 00:22:14,243 Jeez, I hope not. If that runway was any shorter, it'd be a patio. 275 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,925 Just land this plane! 276 00:22:18,733 --> 00:22:20,246 Stall out! Stall out! 277 00:22:33,733 --> 00:22:36,691 - I don't hear any engines. - Maybe it's a glider. 278 00:22:47,093 --> 00:22:50,051 I'd like to thank you and ask that you remain seated... 279 00:22:50,133 --> 00:22:52,328 with your seatbelt securely fastened... 280 00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:56,406 until the aircraft has come to a complete... Brake pressure! 281 00:23:04,253 --> 00:23:05,845 Bushes! 282 00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:24,327 All right! Okay! 283 00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:26,325 I made it! 284 00:23:26,413 --> 00:23:28,881 - I made it! - What's your name? 285 00:23:29,373 --> 00:23:32,331 I made it! Okay! 286 00:23:33,133 --> 00:23:35,044 - Remind me to get a new pilot. - Did you see that? 287 00:23:35,133 --> 00:23:37,010 - Y ou bet. - Let's go. 288 00:23:42,973 --> 00:23:45,487 One, two, three, showtime. 289 00:24:09,453 --> 00:24:11,967 Sol, what is it? Are you all right? Y ou look like you ate a ghost. 290 00:24:12,053 --> 00:24:14,692 - Someone paid his taxes. - Who? 291 00:24:14,773 --> 00:24:17,128 The fireman, Moniker. 292 00:24:17,853 --> 00:24:19,650 What kind of name is Moniker? 293 00:24:19,733 --> 00:24:21,325 Sol, I hope we're not gonna blow this thing... 294 00:24:21,413 --> 00:24:24,166 just because some hippies want to do bed-and-breakfast on the beach. 295 00:24:24,253 --> 00:24:28,132 - Sol, you gotta get them out of there. - I will chew on their livers. 296 00:24:28,213 --> 00:24:30,602 Please, Sol, I hate liver. Relax. 297 00:24:30,693 --> 00:24:32,172 What do you want? Y ou want heat prostration? 298 00:24:32,253 --> 00:24:34,892 We'll work it out. They'll be gone in no time. 299 00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:38,648 It'll take more than paint and new grass on the roof to turn that place around. 300 00:24:38,733 --> 00:24:40,052 Come on, they're waiting for us. 301 00:25:01,973 --> 00:25:05,204 - Did you enjoy the trip? - No, I didn't. 302 00:25:05,533 --> 00:25:06,648 Really? 303 00:25:06,733 --> 00:25:09,293 Terry, I think you'll find when you travel a little bit more... 304 00:25:09,373 --> 00:25:11,329 that things are different here in the Third World. 305 00:25:11,413 --> 00:25:14,086 - Actually, I travel a lot. - Really? What do you do? 306 00:25:14,173 --> 00:25:17,643 I review resorts and hotels for The New York Times travel section. 307 00:25:17,733 --> 00:25:19,530 - No. - Y es. 308 00:25:21,293 --> 00:25:22,408 Enjoy. 309 00:25:22,493 --> 00:25:24,085 I'll handle this. I'll look after it. 310 00:25:25,453 --> 00:25:29,412 Hey, red, what do you say, you want to join us for a colada? 311 00:25:30,293 --> 00:25:32,807 Frankly, I'd rather be drawn and quartered. 312 00:25:34,453 --> 00:25:35,568 Kinky! 313 00:25:36,813 --> 00:25:39,373 Drawn and quartered. I think we're going to need two other guys. 314 00:25:39,453 --> 00:25:40,727 Forget her. Snob city. 315 00:25:40,813 --> 00:25:43,691 Besides, all the good k'nish is already on the beach. Let's unpack. 316 00:25:43,773 --> 00:25:46,082 - Y eah, you're right. - I gotta get a tan. 317 00:25:49,813 --> 00:25:52,532 - Dynamite rays, man. - Dynamite rays. 318 00:25:52,613 --> 00:25:54,410 I'm gonna be schvar in two minutes here. 319 00:25:54,493 --> 00:25:56,484 This latitude is good for me. 320 00:26:02,933 --> 00:26:05,208 What do you think of those two over there? 321 00:26:05,733 --> 00:26:07,246 - They're nice. They look nice. - Nice? 322 00:26:07,333 --> 00:26:09,244 Forget nice. My mother's nice. 323 00:26:09,933 --> 00:26:12,128 - What are you staring at? - Y ou told me look, I'm... 324 00:26:12,213 --> 00:26:14,966 Don't stare at them. They're gonna come over and start talking to us. 325 00:26:15,053 --> 00:26:16,088 Will you relax? 326 00:26:16,173 --> 00:26:19,404 - Where's your subtlety? - Where's your blood pressure? Putz. 327 00:26:20,093 --> 00:26:21,970 Those hairy guys have been looking at us. 328 00:26:22,053 --> 00:26:24,328 Jackie, don't be pathetic, okay? 329 00:26:24,413 --> 00:26:26,847 There's got to be more to do here than just lie on a beach... 330 00:26:26,933 --> 00:26:29,242 waiting for strange guys to talk to us. 331 00:26:30,133 --> 00:26:32,249 Well, I'm going to go talk to them. 332 00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:43,485 Hi. Could you do me a favor? Could you put some lotion on my back? 333 00:26:43,573 --> 00:26:46,804 I don't think so. I don't want to get my hands all greasy. 334 00:26:46,893 --> 00:26:48,565 We may grab a sandwich in a few minutes. 335 00:26:48,653 --> 00:26:50,609 - Maybe later on. - Much later. 336 00:26:51,093 --> 00:26:53,561 - Okay. See you later. - Have fun. 337 00:26:55,853 --> 00:26:58,572 Why don't you be a little nicer? If we haven't scored by Thursday... 338 00:26:58,653 --> 00:27:01,611 those two scrags are going to start looking pretty good. 339 00:27:01,693 --> 00:27:04,765 - Well, what'd they say? - Oh, they're kind of shy. 340 00:27:05,173 --> 00:27:06,572 Y eah, right. 341 00:27:08,773 --> 00:27:10,968 Randy, there's no water. 342 00:27:13,373 --> 00:27:17,446 The towels are stolen from other hotels, and there's no soap. 343 00:27:18,253 --> 00:27:21,563 There's no complimentary shampoo. There's no complimentary sewing kit. 344 00:27:21,653 --> 00:27:24,565 - There's no shower cap. - It's the same room, all right. 345 00:27:24,653 --> 00:27:27,167 They must've shot it from way up here with a wide-angled lens. 346 00:27:27,253 --> 00:27:30,768 Maybe a fisheye or something like that. It's huge in the picture. 347 00:27:30,893 --> 00:27:32,087 I'm gonna sue him. 348 00:27:32,173 --> 00:27:34,767 Randy, this place isn't air-conditioned. 349 00:27:35,653 --> 00:27:38,406 I don't see any little switches. No little vents. 350 00:27:40,293 --> 00:27:43,365 - I don't believe it. - Not a word about air conditioning. 351 00:27:43,733 --> 00:27:45,371 I just assumed it. 352 00:27:46,053 --> 00:27:48,123 Well, we'll just have to live with it. 353 00:27:48,213 --> 00:27:52,650 Randy, you do not save a marriage without air conditioning. 354 00:27:54,093 --> 00:27:55,287 Oh, God. 355 00:28:02,413 --> 00:28:03,812 Did you need to take a leak? 356 00:28:05,533 --> 00:28:08,764 Hot enough for you? Is everything satisfactory? 357 00:28:08,853 --> 00:28:10,366 No, not really. 358 00:28:10,813 --> 00:28:13,281 Well, we just opened up, and we're still ironing out the bugs. 359 00:28:13,373 --> 00:28:15,329 I think you'll find most of the bugs in my room. 360 00:28:15,413 --> 00:28:17,688 We'll have them ironed out immediately. 361 00:28:19,813 --> 00:28:22,646 But it says "private" right here. How could it be a mistake? 362 00:28:22,733 --> 00:28:24,132 'Cause it wrong. 363 00:28:24,213 --> 00:28:26,647 I know it's wrong, that's why I'm telling you. 364 00:28:26,733 --> 00:28:28,564 - What's your name? - Pansy Brown, sir. 365 00:28:28,653 --> 00:28:29,688 - Pansy Brown? - Y es, sir. 366 00:28:29,773 --> 00:28:32,651 - What seems to be the problem, folks? - I'll tell you what the problem is. 367 00:28:32,733 --> 00:28:34,166 - Excuse me. Hello, Jack. - Hello. 368 00:28:34,253 --> 00:28:37,802 Y our brochure specifically says, "Private bath." 369 00:28:37,893 --> 00:28:40,248 And now it seems that we have to share a bath... 370 00:28:40,333 --> 00:28:41,846 with the gentleman next door. 371 00:28:41,933 --> 00:28:43,844 I think you'll find that when we say "private"... 372 00:28:43,933 --> 00:28:46,970 we mean that the bathroom's not open to the general public. 373 00:28:47,053 --> 00:28:49,009 Hey, you're right, though. This is very misleading. 374 00:28:49,093 --> 00:28:53,245 So I think I should change it and put down, instead of "private," "secluded." 375 00:28:53,653 --> 00:28:55,883 I'm afraid it's not going to be that easy, mister. 376 00:28:55,973 --> 00:28:57,964 This is not my first trip out of Cleveland. 377 00:28:58,053 --> 00:29:00,362 Get out of my face before I rip your nose off. 378 00:29:00,453 --> 00:29:02,409 - Are you threatening me? - Y es. 379 00:29:02,493 --> 00:29:04,609 Randy, please, put the brochure away. 380 00:29:04,693 --> 00:29:06,763 Jack, I just want to know one thing. 381 00:29:06,853 --> 00:29:09,572 Am I going to be able to take a decent shower... 382 00:29:09,653 --> 00:29:12,690 or is the water always going to be like that? 383 00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:17,292 I'm on the case. Tonight you'll have the finest shower possible. 384 00:29:20,893 --> 00:29:22,804 - The name's Moniker. - I got it. 385 00:29:23,333 --> 00:29:24,322 Linda. 386 00:29:27,013 --> 00:29:29,811 - Oh, my God. - Oh... 387 00:29:34,693 --> 00:29:36,604 One-grade, oven-ready, self-basting. 388 00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:38,570 Hey, dinner is served. 389 00:29:38,653 --> 00:29:41,213 - The entr�e's here. - Meat. 390 00:29:41,293 --> 00:29:43,170 Meat. 391 00:29:43,533 --> 00:29:45,489 Fashion models, got to be. 392 00:29:46,213 --> 00:29:48,329 - Look at these two Aqua Velva's. - Hi. 393 00:29:48,413 --> 00:29:50,722 - Y ou think they're with them? - Are you kidding? Look at them. 394 00:29:50,813 --> 00:29:53,407 They're probably gay. They're a couple of moes. 395 00:29:53,853 --> 00:29:55,809 Oh, come on. 396 00:29:55,973 --> 00:29:59,283 What, are they trying to make us think they're straight or something? 397 00:29:59,373 --> 00:30:00,601 Cousins. 398 00:30:13,733 --> 00:30:18,204 - Darling, champagne? - They have that parachute thing. 399 00:30:18,773 --> 00:30:21,082 - I've always wanted to do that. - Why? 400 00:30:21,173 --> 00:30:23,482 Why, Randy? Because I want to fly. 401 00:30:23,573 --> 00:30:25,962 I want to feel the wind through my hair. 402 00:30:26,293 --> 00:30:29,251 - I want to live. - Do you want to play Wiffle tennis? 403 00:30:29,773 --> 00:30:32,810 No, honey, I don't want to play any Wiffle tennis. 404 00:30:34,053 --> 00:30:38,490 Why don't you just read your book? I need a little space for a while. 405 00:30:50,333 --> 00:30:53,086 I wonder if I might try this parachute thing? 406 00:30:53,173 --> 00:30:54,526 Sure, what's your name? 407 00:30:54,613 --> 00:30:56,763 - Linda Whit�. - Chris. 408 00:30:56,853 --> 00:30:58,172 - Hello, Chris. - Helmut. 409 00:30:58,253 --> 00:31:00,813 Helmut. 410 00:31:01,573 --> 00:31:03,962 - "M," Mississippi. - Ethiopia. 411 00:31:04,053 --> 00:31:06,772 - No, an "I." - Ipanema. 412 00:31:07,453 --> 00:31:08,966 That's a song. It's not a place. 413 00:31:09,053 --> 00:31:11,442 It's The Girl from lpanema. It's fictional, that thing. 414 00:31:11,533 --> 00:31:14,650 - Where do you think she's originally from? - No, you can't use that, lpanema. 415 00:31:14,733 --> 00:31:16,485 I didn't just make it... I don't want to play. 416 00:31:16,573 --> 00:31:19,883 How's it going, guys? Sorry we didn't get a chance to talk on the bus. 417 00:31:19,973 --> 00:31:21,531 - Remember me? I'm Jack. - Barry. 418 00:31:21,613 --> 00:31:23,410 - Barry. - Whoa, d�j� vu. 419 00:31:23,493 --> 00:31:25,404 Barry Steinberg. Barry Nye. Smoked meats. 420 00:31:25,493 --> 00:31:27,723 - Nice to have you here, Barry. - Listen, what's going on here? 421 00:31:27,813 --> 00:31:30,373 This beach is dead. It's all Preparation and no H. 422 00:31:30,453 --> 00:31:33,251 What, are you blind? Y ou got dogs under these chairs, man? 423 00:31:33,333 --> 00:31:35,847 Come on, check it out. What about those two? 424 00:31:38,053 --> 00:31:40,521 - I don't think they're interested. - Too tall. 425 00:31:40,613 --> 00:31:42,365 Come on, they were just talking to me about you. 426 00:31:42,453 --> 00:31:43,886 - No. They weren't. - Really? 427 00:31:43,973 --> 00:31:47,329 They said that you weren't fit to sleep with pigs. But I stood up for you. 428 00:31:47,413 --> 00:31:48,607 - What did you say? - I said you were. 429 00:31:48,693 --> 00:31:50,092 - All right. - All right. Okay. 430 00:31:50,173 --> 00:31:52,243 So, come on, get out there, mingle. 431 00:31:52,333 --> 00:31:54,051 I guarantee if you stick with it, by tonight... 432 00:31:54,133 --> 00:31:56,283 your meat'll be smoked. Y ou know what I'm saying? 433 00:31:56,373 --> 00:31:59,012 - See you tonight. Big reggae dance. - Thanks, man. See you later. 434 00:31:59,093 --> 00:32:03,166 - We'll just cinch you up a bit. - Very good, you have very strong legs. 435 00:32:04,933 --> 00:32:06,764 - Linda, are you ready to fly? - Y es, I am. 436 00:32:06,853 --> 00:32:08,764 Linda, the sky is yours. 437 00:32:21,213 --> 00:32:22,362 Randy! 438 00:32:55,373 --> 00:32:56,567 Randy! 439 00:33:06,133 --> 00:33:07,407 Randy! 440 00:33:28,773 --> 00:33:32,129 I'm not wearing this shirt. Look at it. Look at this shirt. 441 00:33:33,373 --> 00:33:37,161 - Look, I won't wear it. - Guys, you on a union 10? 442 00:33:38,973 --> 00:33:42,648 Make it 15. We'll get together one day. We'll have lunch. 443 00:33:42,733 --> 00:33:44,291 Y eah, lunch. 444 00:33:45,413 --> 00:33:46,971 Roll one for me. 445 00:33:48,813 --> 00:33:50,405 Did you rehearse? 446 00:33:50,493 --> 00:33:54,327 Fireburn for these songs. I have my own songs. I'm not doing these songs. 447 00:33:54,413 --> 00:33:58,122 Don't do this to me, partner. Come on, we've promised these people a floorshow. 448 00:33:58,213 --> 00:34:01,046 These are good songs. They love these songs. 449 00:34:01,133 --> 00:34:03,966 Anyone hear these songs, don't want to hear these songs anymore. 450 00:34:04,053 --> 00:34:06,487 And plus, I can't wear all these Babylon clothes... 451 00:34:06,573 --> 00:34:10,088 - and smiling for all these people. - Do you think I like wearing these clothes? 452 00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:13,051 Do you think I like looking like a Hawaiian pimp? 453 00:34:13,533 --> 00:34:17,208 Y ou know, I knew another proud, young, black man like yourself once. 454 00:34:17,453 --> 00:34:21,731 And I gave him some advice, too. I told him, "Wear one glove. 455 00:34:22,613 --> 00:34:26,083 "Just one glove." The rest was history. 456 00:34:26,853 --> 00:34:30,323 - And who was that? - Willie Mays. Come on. 457 00:34:31,293 --> 00:34:33,727 Y ou wear these clothes, you sing these songs... 458 00:34:33,813 --> 00:34:36,281 and I guarantee I'll have you back in center field. 459 00:34:36,373 --> 00:34:39,126 I don't know what that center field is, but I tell you... 460 00:34:39,213 --> 00:34:43,206 I'll do it just once. And then I'm going to burn these clothes. 461 00:34:43,733 --> 00:34:45,291 Aye, Reed, man. Aye, Reed. 462 00:34:45,373 --> 00:34:48,331 That hair is a downright, everlasting disgrace. 463 00:34:48,733 --> 00:34:52,123 Now, I've been working in better hotels than this for 25 years. 464 00:34:52,213 --> 00:34:54,852 - Who hasn't? - And I never had hair like that... 465 00:34:54,933 --> 00:34:58,005 into my kitchen, yet. It is unsanitary. 466 00:34:58,093 --> 00:35:02,006 I don't know why he must have all that boogooyaga hair on him head at all. 467 00:35:02,093 --> 00:35:04,527 He better cut it off or go. 468 00:35:05,373 --> 00:35:08,251 It's all right. Y ou're right. It's very, very boogooyaga. 469 00:35:08,333 --> 00:35:10,085 I'll talk to him, and I'll work this thing out. 470 00:35:13,853 --> 00:35:16,321 Tree, what's happening? 471 00:35:16,413 --> 00:35:17,892 Oh, no, thanks. 472 00:35:17,973 --> 00:35:20,885 Last time I smoked that stuff, they found me on top of the Sears Tower... 473 00:35:20,973 --> 00:35:22,611 trying to build a nest. 474 00:35:23,173 --> 00:35:27,052 Now, I love your hair, man. It's natural hair, and you're a natural man. 475 00:35:27,933 --> 00:35:30,572 But I'm getting a lot of flak from the Health Department. 476 00:35:30,653 --> 00:35:32,928 And even I'm a little uncomfortable with the possibility... 477 00:35:33,013 --> 00:35:35,766 of one of the guests picking a 5-foot hair out of their tuna salad. 478 00:35:35,853 --> 00:35:37,286 Y ou dig where I'm coming from? 479 00:35:37,373 --> 00:35:40,410 Y eah, man, I dig where you're coming from, but I can't cut my hair, man. 480 00:35:40,493 --> 00:35:42,131 Y ou can't cut your hair. 481 00:35:43,413 --> 00:35:46,291 I know how we can work this one out. Come with me. 482 00:35:48,693 --> 00:35:51,605 Portia, I'd like you to meet your new assistant cook. 483 00:35:52,413 --> 00:35:54,768 Everybody say hello to Hat. 484 00:35:56,573 --> 00:35:59,929 - Passable. - Watch out for those fans, baby. 485 00:36:06,293 --> 00:36:09,365 Sol, the boys are back. Our ship has come in. 486 00:36:09,453 --> 00:36:12,126 - Now we gotta deliver. - It's that fireman. 487 00:36:12,933 --> 00:36:16,972 I have used every legal means at my disposal... 488 00:36:17,133 --> 00:36:19,283 and still they will not be moved. 489 00:36:19,373 --> 00:36:20,886 Sol, don't go legal on me now. 490 00:36:20,973 --> 00:36:23,487 We need this. There must be some way to get to this guy. 491 00:36:23,573 --> 00:36:24,926 Taking up the game, Mr. Zerbe? 492 00:36:25,013 --> 00:36:28,722 It's a pain in the ass. Get rid of the horses, you'd have a good game. 493 00:36:28,813 --> 00:36:31,691 Let's roll, Noel. Listen, can we talk? 494 00:36:31,973 --> 00:36:33,770 At last, a bribe. 495 00:36:33,853 --> 00:36:36,811 It's about your friend Jack what's-his-name and that club. 496 00:36:36,893 --> 00:36:40,488 Y ou should really talk to him. I'd hate to see anybody get hurt. 497 00:36:40,573 --> 00:36:41,688 How very thoughtful. 498 00:36:41,773 --> 00:36:43,491 I'm just trying to do what's best for everybody. 499 00:36:43,573 --> 00:36:44,926 Too kind. 500 00:36:54,413 --> 00:36:57,371 There, that's the way this game should be played. 501 00:36:59,053 --> 00:37:02,489 I can't tell you the feeling of flying through those trees. 502 00:37:02,573 --> 00:37:05,485 I have never felt more alive in my entire life. 503 00:37:06,013 --> 00:37:08,732 Isn't it great, Randy? Isn't it fantastic? 504 00:37:09,253 --> 00:37:10,652 I don't know. 505 00:37:11,813 --> 00:37:13,212 Well, I thought it was. 506 00:37:13,293 --> 00:37:16,205 Wasn't today fun? Didn't you have any fun? 507 00:37:17,373 --> 00:37:18,806 I found a shell. 508 00:37:18,893 --> 00:37:22,568 Randy, you may have to try just a little bit harder. 509 00:37:26,493 --> 00:37:30,088 Tomorrow Helmut and Christopher are giving me cliff-diving lessons. 510 00:37:30,773 --> 00:37:32,923 Won't you try it just at least once? 511 00:37:33,013 --> 00:37:37,165 Nothing could be more fun than jumping off a cliff with two German bisexuals. 512 00:37:38,093 --> 00:37:40,243 - What? - Nothing. 513 00:37:41,973 --> 00:37:44,009 The shower better work now. 514 00:37:52,293 --> 00:37:54,204 I don't believe it. 515 00:37:57,653 --> 00:37:59,006 Randy! 516 00:37:59,733 --> 00:38:00,848 Randy! 517 00:38:16,693 --> 00:38:20,527 - Mrs. White, how do you do it? - Easy. 518 00:38:21,173 --> 00:38:22,401 How was that shower? 519 00:38:22,493 --> 00:38:23,608 - Brutal. - Really? 520 00:38:23,693 --> 00:38:26,366 I'd say there's about a foot of water in our room. 521 00:38:26,453 --> 00:38:29,889 When it rains, it pours. Have a nice night. 522 00:38:31,853 --> 00:38:34,765 Look, why don't you come and tell me what the problem is. 523 00:38:34,853 --> 00:38:35,968 - Nice resort. - Nice pants. 524 00:38:38,333 --> 00:38:40,085 The '60s are over, pal. 525 00:38:40,693 --> 00:38:44,049 Y our Excellency. Y ou are looking elegant this evening. 526 00:38:44,133 --> 00:38:46,010 Why are we graced with your imperial presence? 527 00:38:46,093 --> 00:38:48,368 The fact is, one can smell the suntan oil... 528 00:38:48,453 --> 00:38:50,842 and the frying female flesh right across the island. 529 00:38:50,933 --> 00:38:52,969 I was curious to see what was going on... 530 00:38:53,053 --> 00:38:55,283 at this perverted passion pit you're running here. 531 00:38:55,373 --> 00:38:59,844 This orgy bin, this... Whatever you call this drug-crazed nipple ranch. 532 00:39:00,573 --> 00:39:03,041 I take it you're looking for a little female companionship. 533 00:39:03,133 --> 00:39:06,682 Y ou've come to the right place, 'cause you got the pearls, we got the swine. 534 00:39:06,773 --> 00:39:08,809 Before I turn my hormones loose... 535 00:39:08,893 --> 00:39:12,363 I did have something official that I wanted to discuss with you in private. 536 00:39:12,453 --> 00:39:15,889 Forgive me, but I thought most of your official duties consisted of a lot of this. 537 00:39:15,973 --> 00:39:19,363 No. While you have been occupied in fishing loose diaphragms... 538 00:39:19,453 --> 00:39:21,171 out of the swimming pool filters... 539 00:39:21,253 --> 00:39:23,483 I have been engaged in matters of the utmost importance... 540 00:39:23,573 --> 00:39:24,801 to everyone on this island. 541 00:39:24,893 --> 00:39:26,212 We don't have a swimming pool. 542 00:39:26,293 --> 00:39:30,127 Nevertheless, if you do have a nook which is not actually knee-deep... 543 00:39:30,213 --> 00:39:33,888 in seminal fluid, I do think it's rather important we have a chat. 544 00:39:33,973 --> 00:39:36,567 I'll try and find a dry spot, and we'll talk. 545 00:39:36,933 --> 00:39:39,242 But if you're really interested in something wonderful... 546 00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:42,291 I think you should check out the woman in the blue, possibly silk, top. 547 00:39:42,373 --> 00:39:43,772 Why should I check her out? 548 00:39:43,853 --> 00:39:46,606 Because she's a writer for The New York Times travel section... 549 00:39:46,693 --> 00:39:48,763 and if you charm her pants off and drive her to China... 550 00:39:48,853 --> 00:39:51,765 she might write a real nice piece about this place. 551 00:39:52,693 --> 00:39:55,253 Drinks on the house. Doubles. 552 00:39:55,333 --> 00:39:57,642 - Lf you think it will help. - Bless you. 553 00:40:04,933 --> 00:40:08,050 Oh, dear. Am I too late for the main event? 554 00:40:08,693 --> 00:40:11,844 No, I think the guests will be allowed to graze for a few more minutes... 555 00:40:11,933 --> 00:40:15,289 - before the alleged entertainment begins. - May I join you? 556 00:40:15,733 --> 00:40:17,644 I guess that's how it works. 557 00:40:17,733 --> 00:40:21,612 The fireman told me to check you out. I believe you're a journalist? 558 00:40:21,893 --> 00:40:24,805 Will you scribble a little something about this place? 559 00:40:24,893 --> 00:40:28,886 I wouldn't know what to say. It sort of reminds me of a Japanese POW camp. 560 00:40:29,613 --> 00:40:31,683 - What do you do? - Guess. 561 00:40:32,853 --> 00:40:36,641 Too tan to hold a respectable job. Retired millionaire? 562 00:40:37,053 --> 00:40:39,772 Hardly. I haven't any money anywhere. 563 00:40:40,493 --> 00:40:42,609 That's why people like me live in the West Indies. 564 00:40:42,693 --> 00:40:45,526 It's one of the best places in the world in which to be poor. 565 00:40:45,613 --> 00:40:47,251 No little mouths to feed? 566 00:40:47,333 --> 00:40:51,008 There was one very big mouth, but my wife left me several years ago. 567 00:40:51,373 --> 00:40:52,522 Couldn't stand the tropics? 568 00:40:52,613 --> 00:40:55,332 Loved the tropics. It was me she couldn't stand. 569 00:40:58,653 --> 00:41:00,211 - Y ou want to make our move? - Let's sit down. 570 00:41:00,293 --> 00:41:01,442 All right then, let's do it. 571 00:41:01,533 --> 00:41:03,410 - Which one do you want? - I'll take the brown hair. 572 00:41:03,493 --> 00:41:05,324 - They both have brown hair. - I'll take the banana. 573 00:41:05,413 --> 00:41:06,812 - Okay. - Cool. 574 00:41:08,533 --> 00:41:11,570 Good evening, ladies. Mind if my father and I join you? 575 00:41:17,933 --> 00:41:22,290 Y ou look so familiar. Were you at Club Med Martinique last year? 576 00:41:22,693 --> 00:41:25,127 - No. - Club Universal in Hawaii? 577 00:41:25,213 --> 00:41:27,773 - No. - Swingles in Fort Lauderdale? 578 00:41:27,853 --> 00:41:29,844 - No. - Y ou know what I think? 579 00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:33,889 I think we met in another life. 580 00:41:34,253 --> 00:41:37,768 - Do you have anything to smoke? - Unreal! 581 00:41:37,853 --> 00:41:39,286 - Are you kidding? - Y ou must be psychic. 582 00:41:39,373 --> 00:41:41,568 We were just talking about that before, getting stoned. 583 00:41:41,653 --> 00:41:44,326 I thought we were the only two heads on the Island. 584 00:41:44,413 --> 00:41:48,122 I tell you what, we're going to go out and cop some primo Cannabis sativa. 585 00:41:48,213 --> 00:41:50,932 And the four of us will get totally demented. What do you think? 586 00:41:51,013 --> 00:41:54,005 - Stoned out of our gourds. Okay? - Catch you in a while? 587 00:41:54,533 --> 00:41:57,172 Save our seats. We'll be right back, okay? 588 00:41:57,333 --> 00:41:59,608 Right here waiting for you. 589 00:42:00,093 --> 00:42:01,208 - Really? - No seeds. 590 00:42:01,293 --> 00:42:02,442 No seeds? Nice and clean? 591 00:42:02,533 --> 00:42:04,683 We should come with you, is this what you're saying? 592 00:42:04,773 --> 00:42:06,764 - Okay, so we'll do that now? - Where's your friend? 593 00:42:06,853 --> 00:42:08,525 Y eah, he's right there. Okay, I'm going to get him. 594 00:42:08,613 --> 00:42:10,888 Bar, Bar. We're out of here. Let's go. 595 00:42:19,173 --> 00:42:21,164 So what's the deal? 596 00:42:21,253 --> 00:42:25,007 The deal is, major score of domestic homegrown... 597 00:42:25,093 --> 00:42:28,688 uncut, pure weed, happening here tonight. Major score. 598 00:42:28,893 --> 00:42:31,361 - All right. - Okay? All right? 599 00:42:31,533 --> 00:42:33,489 - How far is it? - Not far. 600 00:42:33,573 --> 00:42:35,962 - How long is it going to take to get there? - Not long. Relax. 601 00:42:36,053 --> 00:42:38,283 Like how long? Five minutes? Ten minutes? Half an hour? 602 00:42:38,373 --> 00:42:41,445 He said, "Soon come." y ou know what that means? It means it's coming soon. 603 00:42:41,533 --> 00:42:43,410 It takes 45 minutes to get a drink on this island. 604 00:42:43,493 --> 00:42:45,848 - How long is it going to take? - Will you relax? The deal's done. 605 00:42:45,933 --> 00:42:49,130 So let me get this get this straight. The deal is that we're riding in a car... 606 00:42:49,213 --> 00:42:50,202 with a guy we don't even know. 607 00:42:50,293 --> 00:42:53,490 He's wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night, taking us up into a jungle. 608 00:42:53,573 --> 00:42:56,565 Some godforsaken... Nice deal, good negotiating. That's good. 609 00:42:56,653 --> 00:43:00,123 Why don't we just hand him our wallets and slit our own throats? 610 00:43:01,893 --> 00:43:03,724 He's cool. The guy's cool. 611 00:43:04,813 --> 00:43:07,247 Now a very, very special guest, ladies and gentlemen... 612 00:43:07,333 --> 00:43:09,164 a representative of Her Excellency, the Queen... 613 00:43:09,253 --> 00:43:12,802 The Governor General of Saint Nicholas, Sir Anthony Croyden Hayes. 614 00:43:18,293 --> 00:43:22,252 - It's my job. - I've saved the best for last. 615 00:43:22,813 --> 00:43:25,407 He's my partner. He's my friend. He's a reggae machine... 616 00:43:25,493 --> 00:43:27,051 and a fashion statement. 617 00:43:27,133 --> 00:43:29,169 Forget your annoyance, because here comes... 618 00:43:29,253 --> 00:43:32,290 Ernest Reed and The Flamboyants. 619 00:44:21,333 --> 00:44:22,402 - Hi, man. - Hi. 620 00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:23,687 - How are you? - Good. 621 00:44:23,773 --> 00:44:24,922 - Great. - Feel good. 622 00:44:25,013 --> 00:44:29,052 Great music. Real tight. Real good rhythm thing happening. 623 00:44:29,133 --> 00:44:33,251 We heard it, you know, driving up. It's all music... 624 00:44:33,333 --> 00:44:35,210 - It sounds like this is the... - Roots. 625 00:44:35,293 --> 00:44:38,649 The roots, yeah, of all music. I thought it was jazz, but l... 626 00:44:38,813 --> 00:44:41,247 - This is labingee. - Labingee. 627 00:44:41,453 --> 00:44:44,763 - I could listen to this all night. - Stick around, man. 628 00:44:44,853 --> 00:44:45,888 Love to! 629 00:44:45,973 --> 00:44:48,965 How long does this go on for? Y ou guys go late, or what? 630 00:44:49,053 --> 00:44:51,965 Sometimes three days, all day, all night. 631 00:44:52,973 --> 00:44:54,611 - Three days. - Big mistake. 632 00:44:54,973 --> 00:44:59,091 Big mistake. If he doesn't come soon, I think we should just check out. 633 00:45:00,813 --> 00:45:02,371 - Hey, my man. - Y eah, man. 634 00:45:02,453 --> 00:45:04,284 - He's back. Okay. - All right. 635 00:45:04,933 --> 00:45:06,082 Ready? 636 00:45:06,173 --> 00:45:07,686 - Oh, we're going? - We gotta go. 637 00:45:07,773 --> 00:45:10,412 Fellows, guys, great. Had a blast. 638 00:45:10,493 --> 00:45:12,165 - Next time. - Great session. 639 00:45:12,253 --> 00:45:13,572 - Y ou got it? - Y es, man. 640 00:45:13,653 --> 00:45:15,405 Let's see it. Let's see it. 641 00:45:16,973 --> 00:45:18,201 - That's it? - Y es, man. 642 00:45:18,293 --> 00:45:21,126 One joint? What kind of dealer are you? 643 00:45:21,213 --> 00:45:23,886 Dealer? I'm a taxi driver, man. 644 00:45:23,973 --> 00:45:26,168 - Some other guy's dealing it. - Taxi driver. 645 00:45:26,253 --> 00:45:29,006 Good deal. One joint. Y ou know we're going to need more than one joint. 646 00:45:29,093 --> 00:45:32,165 Do you want to go back in there and ask your buddies for a little bit more? 647 00:45:32,253 --> 00:45:33,925 - No, I don't. - Well, then get in the car. 648 00:45:34,013 --> 00:45:35,128 Wait a minute! 649 00:45:40,653 --> 00:45:44,168 I believe you ladies mentioned something about smoke. 650 00:45:44,253 --> 00:45:45,925 - Right. - Let's see it. 651 00:45:47,413 --> 00:45:49,483 - She wants to see it. - She wants to see it. 652 00:45:49,573 --> 00:45:52,804 This stuff is totally tubular, okay? 653 00:45:58,253 --> 00:46:01,211 She's lighting it here. Is this cool, or what? 654 00:46:06,933 --> 00:46:08,161 Y ou're so fine. 655 00:46:09,613 --> 00:46:11,285 All right. 656 00:46:20,813 --> 00:46:22,246 Nice smoke. 657 00:46:22,453 --> 00:46:24,171 Y ou want to pass that... 658 00:46:24,693 --> 00:46:27,253 - Hey, that's nice. - Y ou want to pass that... 659 00:46:28,613 --> 00:46:32,288 I had an interesting chat this afternoon with the Prime Minister, Mr. Gundy... 660 00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:35,809 and Mr. Voit Zerbe, the owner of the Royal Saint Nicholas Hotel. 661 00:46:36,253 --> 00:46:38,721 They asked me to speak to you about your future on the island. 662 00:46:38,813 --> 00:46:40,405 In fact, they bribed me to do it. 663 00:46:40,493 --> 00:46:42,245 - Y ou took it, of course. - Certainly. 664 00:46:42,333 --> 00:46:46,246 If I refused, Mr. Zerbe implied that he could have England's legs broken. 665 00:46:46,613 --> 00:46:48,649 It seems that this island is about to be bought... 666 00:46:48,733 --> 00:46:50,246 and that the government is ready to sell it. 667 00:46:50,333 --> 00:46:51,686 Apparently, you and your friend Ernest... 668 00:46:51,773 --> 00:46:53,809 are the only things left standing in the way. 669 00:46:53,893 --> 00:46:55,042 What do you mean, "bought"? 670 00:46:55,133 --> 00:46:57,852 The people, the government, the businesses, the natural resources. 671 00:46:57,933 --> 00:46:59,252 It happens all the time. 672 00:46:59,333 --> 00:47:00,527 Who's Mr. Big? 673 00:47:00,813 --> 00:47:02,531 Mr. Big has yet to make a public appearance... 674 00:47:02,613 --> 00:47:05,923 but I've noticed that every time that wonderful old tugboat heaves into port... 675 00:47:06,013 --> 00:47:09,767 our Prime Minister starts scurrying around like a mongoose in heat. 676 00:47:10,093 --> 00:47:14,132 - What do they want with a dive like this? - Frankly, I can't imagine, but... 677 00:47:14,293 --> 00:47:15,931 as the representative of Great Britain... 678 00:47:16,013 --> 00:47:19,289 I feel it may be a matter of vital interest to my government. 679 00:47:19,373 --> 00:47:23,207 I would even say that if someone, perhaps someone with nothing to lose... 680 00:47:23,293 --> 00:47:26,091 who may be leaving the island anyway, were to get on board that ship... 681 00:47:26,173 --> 00:47:30,212 and provide some useful intelligence, my government might be very grateful. 682 00:47:32,013 --> 00:47:33,924 No. Thank the Queen for me... 683 00:47:34,013 --> 00:47:37,289 but tell her my brother's a queen and even he doesn't want me to spy for England. 684 00:47:37,373 --> 00:47:39,125 Nah. Thanks, but no thanks. 685 00:48:34,813 --> 00:48:36,087 What if the crew wakes up? 686 00:48:36,173 --> 00:48:40,371 They're all at the marina bar. Don't worry, I'll be on and off in two minutes. 687 00:48:40,973 --> 00:48:42,850 Y ou stay here and honk if there's any trouble... 688 00:48:42,933 --> 00:48:44,127 Wait a minute! 689 00:48:45,453 --> 00:48:49,002 This is helium. God damn it! I brought the wrong tank. 690 00:48:49,573 --> 00:48:51,529 Forget it. I'll go without it. 691 00:48:51,813 --> 00:48:54,771 - Jack, I'm going with you, man. - Fine, we'll both go. 692 00:48:55,453 --> 00:48:57,444 Oh, that's a nice buzz. 693 00:48:58,253 --> 00:48:59,527 Oh, boy. 694 00:49:25,413 --> 00:49:26,562 Shh! 695 00:49:32,213 --> 00:49:33,407 Come on. 696 00:49:37,613 --> 00:49:39,888 What are you, a duck? Come on. 697 00:49:41,733 --> 00:49:43,052 What is it? 698 00:49:44,253 --> 00:49:46,084 It's the new Saint Nicholas. 699 00:49:46,853 --> 00:49:50,448 Y eah, I see their plan now. There's a new international airport... 700 00:49:51,493 --> 00:49:53,290 high-rise hotels... 701 00:49:53,533 --> 00:49:57,003 - Iots of luxury condos for the rich folks. - Where's my house? 702 00:49:57,733 --> 00:49:59,451 Right there, next to the nuclear power plant. 703 00:49:59,533 --> 00:50:02,445 But the good news is you won't have far to walk to work in that factory... 704 00:50:02,533 --> 00:50:05,525 where they'll probably have you sewing labels on designer jeans. 705 00:50:05,613 --> 00:50:06,966 Where's our club? 706 00:50:07,333 --> 00:50:09,244 I've seen the future, Sparky, and we're not in it. 707 00:50:09,333 --> 00:50:11,164 - Freeze! - Police! 708 00:50:22,653 --> 00:50:25,963 - What are you doing out here? - Just seeing that all is well. 709 00:50:26,613 --> 00:50:28,251 - Is it? - No. 710 00:50:31,613 --> 00:50:34,605 Guard! Guard! 711 00:50:34,693 --> 00:50:36,365 What you wanting, man? 712 00:50:36,453 --> 00:50:39,445 Nothing. I just always wanted to do that with a cup. 713 00:50:40,333 --> 00:50:41,322 Hey... 714 00:50:41,413 --> 00:50:44,246 you said I was allowed one call. A blue jay. 715 00:50:46,213 --> 00:50:48,249 Will you please hold my messages? 716 00:51:00,293 --> 00:51:04,491 Come on, look on the bright side. I heard this place is going co-ed in a month. 717 00:51:04,573 --> 00:51:07,645 This is just the beginning, man. We know too much now. 718 00:51:07,813 --> 00:51:09,849 We got the best beach on the island, and they know it. 719 00:51:09,933 --> 00:51:12,493 And they ain't gonna stop until they get it. 720 00:51:12,613 --> 00:51:16,367 This may be a Garden of Eden, but Gundy's not God and I'm not moving. 721 00:51:17,373 --> 00:51:19,329 Good morning, gentlemen. 722 00:51:20,693 --> 00:51:24,481 - I trust you had a pleasant night. - Oh, it was fabulous. 723 00:51:24,653 --> 00:51:28,282 Y ou got yourself a real flea circus going here. Come on, boy, jump. 724 00:51:28,653 --> 00:51:31,121 I won't mince words with you, Mr. Moniker. 725 00:51:31,813 --> 00:51:36,011 There are some very important people with very important plans for this island. 726 00:51:36,613 --> 00:51:40,083 - We must have your property. - Over my dead body, Mr. Gundy. 727 00:51:41,093 --> 00:51:44,688 - That too can be arranged, Ernest. - Y ou hold it right there, pal. 728 00:51:44,773 --> 00:51:46,843 I got friends in low places, too. 729 00:51:47,173 --> 00:51:50,085 Y ou start pushing people around, sometimes people might push back. 730 00:51:50,173 --> 00:51:52,243 Be that as it may, Mr. Moniker... 731 00:51:52,933 --> 00:51:55,845 you have until tonight to sell us Club Paradise. 732 00:51:56,453 --> 00:51:57,772 And if we don't? 733 00:51:58,213 --> 00:52:02,001 Then you will be very, very sorry. 734 00:52:02,773 --> 00:52:05,128 Now you both are free to go. 735 00:52:05,733 --> 00:52:08,122 Y our lady friend paid your fine. 736 00:52:10,613 --> 00:52:11,807 Attack. 737 00:52:13,613 --> 00:52:15,729 - So I'll see you there. - I'm coming. 738 00:52:17,053 --> 00:52:18,088 Hell, no. 739 00:52:18,453 --> 00:52:19,488 So long, Constable. 740 00:52:19,573 --> 00:52:22,645 Y ou won't have Jack Moniker to kick around anymore, even though you tried. 741 00:52:22,733 --> 00:52:25,531 Y ep, this is one guy you don't have to beat twice with a rubber hose. 742 00:52:25,613 --> 00:52:26,762 I got the message. 743 00:52:26,853 --> 00:52:28,889 Nobody do that to me and get away with it. 744 00:52:28,973 --> 00:52:30,850 All right, Ernest, all right. 745 00:52:31,173 --> 00:52:33,641 What's going on? What did you do last night? 746 00:52:33,733 --> 00:52:37,408 - Why did you go out to the yacht? - Well, I went a little crazy. I got paranoid. 747 00:52:37,493 --> 00:52:39,324 I thought that people were out to get me. 748 00:52:39,413 --> 00:52:43,008 Now I know. They are out to get me. There they are now. 749 00:52:48,453 --> 00:52:50,444 - What about the law? - The law? 750 00:52:50,853 --> 00:52:54,892 Babe, this is the only country where the constitution is written in pencil. 751 00:52:57,013 --> 00:53:00,164 - It is so lovely here. - I hate beauty. 752 00:53:00,453 --> 00:53:04,366 Do you realize how boring it gets looking at beauty day in and day out? 753 00:53:04,813 --> 00:53:07,043 Anyway, it can't last much longer. 754 00:53:07,773 --> 00:53:10,241 Are you always this cheerful in the morning? 755 00:53:10,333 --> 00:53:13,211 My dear, the Americans will move in and turn it into Miami Beach... 756 00:53:13,293 --> 00:53:17,332 or the Russians and Cubans will come and turn the whole island into bloody Albania. 757 00:53:17,413 --> 00:53:18,687 There really is no hope. 758 00:53:18,773 --> 00:53:22,083 Islands like Saint Nicholas make such nice missile bases... 759 00:53:22,173 --> 00:53:24,641 naval stations, money laundries. 760 00:53:24,733 --> 00:53:26,610 Well, if there isn't any hope, why don't you leave? 761 00:53:26,693 --> 00:53:29,253 - Go to New y ork or London. - No. 762 00:53:29,693 --> 00:53:33,481 If the world is going to hell in a bucket, I want to hold the handle. 763 00:53:34,053 --> 00:53:36,613 Now, will you excuse me? Ta-ta. 764 00:53:37,413 --> 00:53:39,210 Must see a man about a job. 765 00:53:45,013 --> 00:53:46,002 It's muggy. 766 00:53:46,093 --> 00:53:47,412 Amazing. 767 00:53:48,213 --> 00:53:50,886 Honey, I never knew that Eisenhower hadn't made up his mind... 768 00:53:50,973 --> 00:53:53,851 whether to be a Democrat or a Republican until 1955. 769 00:53:55,973 --> 00:53:57,372 I never knew that. 770 00:53:59,093 --> 00:54:00,606 Isn't that incredible? 771 00:54:00,773 --> 00:54:03,003 Jesus Christ! Linda, what are you doing? 772 00:54:03,093 --> 00:54:05,732 Randy, I'm not going home with bra lines. 773 00:54:05,853 --> 00:54:08,128 - Please don't be silly. - My God, Linda. 774 00:54:09,573 --> 00:54:11,131 We're all adults. 775 00:54:16,893 --> 00:54:19,168 - What are you doing to my wife? - Can it! 776 00:54:19,653 --> 00:54:21,644 Mrs. White, it's not that they're not beautiful... 777 00:54:21,733 --> 00:54:24,930 but, you see, there's strict government regulations against nude sunbathing. 778 00:54:25,013 --> 00:54:28,050 Besides, it's more tantalizing to conceal than to reveal. 779 00:54:28,133 --> 00:54:30,727 - I never thought of it that way. - Please do. 780 00:54:34,533 --> 00:54:36,285 Jesus, it's spreading. God damn it! 781 00:54:36,373 --> 00:54:38,329 What are we gonna do, grow it? That'll take three months. 782 00:54:38,413 --> 00:54:40,529 - Have a better idea? - Maybe you should have brought some... 783 00:54:40,613 --> 00:54:41,648 instead of so much cologne. 784 00:54:41,733 --> 00:54:43,803 - Hey, Jack, Jack! - What is it, guys? 785 00:54:43,893 --> 00:54:46,009 Listen, you gotta do us a favor. 786 00:54:46,093 --> 00:54:47,162 - What? - Big favor. 787 00:54:47,253 --> 00:54:48,845 - What? - Favor for a favor. 788 00:54:48,933 --> 00:54:51,606 - Y ou do us this favor, and we'll do you... - What? 789 00:54:53,053 --> 00:54:54,042 Okay. 790 00:54:54,133 --> 00:54:56,408 - We're looking for Johnny. - Who's Johnny? 791 00:54:56,493 --> 00:54:59,246 No. Smoke, J's, joints, buzz. 792 00:54:59,333 --> 00:55:01,563 Not just a little bit. I want a big bag, no twigs and sticks... 793 00:55:01,653 --> 00:55:02,881 Clean. It's gotta be clean. 794 00:55:02,973 --> 00:55:05,203 I'm a federal narcotics agent, and you're both under arrest. 795 00:55:05,293 --> 00:55:06,442 Come on, I was just woofing you. 796 00:55:06,533 --> 00:55:09,252 But I could be. See, there's a lot of heat on me, guys. 797 00:55:09,333 --> 00:55:11,210 If you really want something, ask that guy over there. 798 00:55:11,293 --> 00:55:12,726 - Don't look! - Where? 799 00:55:12,853 --> 00:55:16,004 If you get caught, I don't know you, okay? Be cool. 800 00:55:16,093 --> 00:55:17,242 Y ou got it. 801 00:55:19,773 --> 00:55:21,047 Which guy? 802 00:55:22,333 --> 00:55:24,164 I don't know, I didn't look. 803 00:55:25,493 --> 00:55:29,566 Jackie, that is so obvious. I can't believe you're doing that. 804 00:55:29,813 --> 00:55:32,930 It's Friday, Mary Lou, and nothing's happened, yet. 805 00:55:34,413 --> 00:55:37,086 Jackie, please. I don't want to get busted. 806 00:55:37,373 --> 00:55:39,728 Tell you what. I'll make you a deal. 807 00:55:39,893 --> 00:55:43,806 I know a place that's totally secluded. Y ou can do anything you want. 808 00:55:44,053 --> 00:55:45,406 Sound good? 809 00:55:45,493 --> 00:55:46,687 Hey, everybody! 810 00:55:47,013 --> 00:55:50,210 Who's up for a nude orgy picnic at Devil's Hole? 811 00:55:50,293 --> 00:55:52,204 - I am! - I am! 812 00:55:58,493 --> 00:56:01,883 - Y ou coming? It's the last chance. - No, man, I got to wait for Johnny. 813 00:56:01,973 --> 00:56:03,167 Hey, Jackson. 814 00:56:03,933 --> 00:56:04,922 Hi. 815 00:56:07,653 --> 00:56:08,768 Hello. 816 00:56:10,013 --> 00:56:12,288 Barry, you gotta come. Let's go. Nude beach! 817 00:56:12,373 --> 00:56:15,012 Man, the deal's cut. The weed's coming. One of us has gotta stay here. 818 00:56:15,093 --> 00:56:18,130 - It's a nude beach! - One of us has gotta stay here. 819 00:56:19,853 --> 00:56:21,252 I'll catch you later. 820 00:56:21,333 --> 00:56:23,563 Besides, I want to try this thing, anyway. 821 00:56:23,653 --> 00:56:25,689 I'll tool around here for a while. 822 00:56:25,773 --> 00:56:28,241 It's good for the lats, good for the pecs. 823 00:56:35,973 --> 00:56:37,725 Hey, I'm doing it! 824 00:56:44,973 --> 00:56:48,761 Hey, watch your front knee, and tilt the mast forward. 825 00:57:27,493 --> 00:57:31,008 Y ou see, I don't want to get into a political discussion here, but Communism... 826 00:57:31,093 --> 00:57:33,163 - will not work in a country like this. - Oh, no. 827 00:57:33,253 --> 00:57:36,962 Communism will not attract women 18 to 26, for instance. 828 00:57:39,093 --> 00:57:41,243 Gee, I love being naked. It's great. 829 00:57:41,853 --> 00:57:43,764 - How about you? - I thought I did, but I don't. 830 00:57:43,853 --> 00:57:45,047 Come on, take your clothes off. 831 00:57:45,133 --> 00:57:47,283 - Get undressed. We'll go for a jog. - No, thank you. 832 00:57:47,373 --> 00:57:48,442 No? 833 00:57:53,453 --> 00:57:57,685 He's gonna be here in about 10 minutes. I really think we should get dressed. 834 00:57:57,773 --> 00:58:00,924 Randy, I want to be naked for the rest of my life. 835 00:58:01,013 --> 00:58:04,847 Oh, for Christ's sake! I know we should have gone to Acapulco. 836 00:58:12,493 --> 00:58:14,643 - What are you looking for? - Our clothes are gone. 837 00:58:14,733 --> 00:58:17,531 - What do you mean, our clothes are gone? - Well... 838 00:58:18,413 --> 00:58:20,927 All right! They left our cameras and watches. 839 00:58:22,253 --> 00:58:25,051 Big, hairy deal. We're naked, you jerk. 840 00:58:25,253 --> 00:58:27,892 Well, so what? We've been naked all afternoon. 841 00:58:28,013 --> 00:58:30,004 Well, I hadn't planned on walking through town this way. 842 00:58:30,093 --> 00:58:31,128 Come on, let's get out of here. 843 00:58:31,213 --> 00:58:33,568 Y ou know what? I'm just gonna wait here for Island Jack. 844 00:58:33,653 --> 00:58:36,486 Because I think it's stupid to go off without knowing where you're going. 845 00:58:36,573 --> 00:58:39,724 Did it occur to you whoever took our clothes could be watching us right now... 846 00:58:39,813 --> 00:58:41,326 and we don't know what they want? 847 00:58:41,413 --> 00:58:42,562 Obviously not. 848 00:58:42,653 --> 00:58:45,213 All right. I suggest what we do is we walk very calmly... 849 00:58:45,293 --> 00:58:47,932 in single file off this beach, and we don't stop for anything. 850 00:58:48,013 --> 00:58:50,925 All right, let's go. In single file, and I mean you. 851 00:58:52,413 --> 00:58:53,846 Who died and made him boss? 852 00:59:04,453 --> 00:59:06,045 There might be poisonous snakes here. 853 00:59:06,133 --> 00:59:08,567 No, there are no snakes. They introduced the mongoose here... 854 00:59:08,653 --> 00:59:11,042 a long time ago. The mongoose, of course, kills snakes. 855 00:59:11,133 --> 00:59:14,808 - What's a mongoose? - It's a big rat about a foot long... 856 00:59:14,973 --> 00:59:16,565 with great big teeth. 857 00:59:16,733 --> 00:59:19,293 - This must be north. - North, schmorth. 858 00:59:19,493 --> 00:59:20,812 What are we doing, making a map? 859 00:59:20,893 --> 00:59:23,088 What are you, Marco Polo? We just want to get out of here. 860 00:59:23,173 --> 00:59:25,004 If we don't know what direction we're going in... 861 00:59:25,093 --> 00:59:26,924 we could be going in circles, you fool. 862 00:59:27,013 --> 00:59:28,366 I, for one, am getting very hungry. 863 00:59:28,453 --> 00:59:30,489 Don't worry, honey, I think that's wild sugarcane. 864 00:59:30,573 --> 00:59:33,007 Randy, I'm not about to eat real sugar. 865 00:59:33,093 --> 00:59:36,051 Y eah, we'll find you a Sweet'N Low field. Would you move? 866 00:59:36,133 --> 00:59:38,522 I hope that was your finger. 867 00:59:53,853 --> 00:59:57,641 I could have done the same dive myself if I didn't have this diarrhea. 868 00:59:57,853 --> 00:59:59,002 Oh, boy. 869 01:00:05,533 --> 01:00:06,807 This is perfect. 870 01:00:07,173 --> 01:00:10,404 I've lost my money, I've lost my club, and now I've lost my guests. 871 01:00:10,493 --> 01:00:12,245 Well, maybe they took a hike. 872 01:00:12,333 --> 01:00:14,483 No, this is not a hiking crowd. 873 01:00:18,053 --> 01:00:21,045 That's it, Randy. I can't go on. 874 01:00:21,253 --> 01:00:24,086 Don't give up, baby. We're almost out of here. 875 01:00:24,173 --> 01:00:28,007 We've been tramping around here for three hours. There's no way out of here. 876 01:00:28,093 --> 01:00:29,367 No, we're close. 877 01:00:29,693 --> 01:00:33,368 I can sense it, almost smell it. Y ou know, I was a boy scout, honey. 878 01:00:34,013 --> 01:00:38,006 I've been watching the sun all afternoon and sighting on that mountaintop. 879 01:00:38,573 --> 01:00:40,291 I've been keeping the mountain on our right... 880 01:00:40,373 --> 01:00:43,285 and walking perpendicular to the line of the sun's movement. 881 01:00:43,373 --> 01:00:45,204 We're okay, honey. Trust me. 882 01:00:45,493 --> 01:00:48,724 Besides, I know for a fact that the island is only 7 miles across... 883 01:00:48,813 --> 01:00:52,408 at its widest point, which would be from Puerto Maria on the north coast... 884 01:00:52,493 --> 01:00:54,961 to Prince Charlestown on the south coast. 885 01:00:55,053 --> 01:00:56,884 So even if we had to cross from shore to shore... 886 01:00:56,973 --> 01:00:59,282 the longest it would take would be four hours... 887 01:00:59,373 --> 01:01:01,933 even if we had to average less than 2 miles an hour. 888 01:01:02,013 --> 01:01:03,605 No, we'll be okay. 889 01:01:04,213 --> 01:01:07,603 - I'm sure of it. Don't worry about a thing. - Randy. 890 01:01:09,213 --> 01:01:12,410 Y ou know what's funny, honey? I like it out here. 891 01:01:13,853 --> 01:01:16,731 It's primal and it's honest. 892 01:01:16,813 --> 01:01:19,247 Y ou don't survive the jungle in a tie and a suit. 893 01:01:19,333 --> 01:01:24,009 Y ou survive with pure animal instinct. God, my senses are alive. 894 01:01:24,453 --> 01:01:27,525 When I'm out here, I ask the really big questions, like: 895 01:01:27,813 --> 01:01:30,088 "Is it man against nature, or is it... 896 01:01:30,293 --> 01:01:33,763 "man in harmony with nature?" The latter, I think. 897 01:01:34,933 --> 01:01:37,242 Y ou know what I'm talking about, honey? 898 01:01:38,293 --> 01:01:40,602 It's a snake! Don't panic! 899 01:01:40,973 --> 01:01:43,612 It's a Burmese. They're swallowers, not biters. 900 01:01:43,893 --> 01:01:45,042 I... Linda! 901 01:01:45,533 --> 01:01:46,886 Linda! 902 01:01:57,213 --> 01:01:59,966 Y eah, they'll come back, in little boxes. 903 01:02:00,413 --> 01:02:02,244 Pansy, double. Anything. 904 01:02:02,733 --> 01:02:05,372 - We got a big problem, Mr. Monkey. - Don't tell me about it, Pansy. 905 01:02:05,453 --> 01:02:07,364 We lost one of them sailboards. 906 01:02:07,733 --> 01:02:08,882 What do you mean, "lost"? 907 01:02:08,973 --> 01:02:11,726 Someone took it out, and they didn't bring it back. 908 01:02:11,813 --> 01:02:14,373 - Which someone? - Named Barry. 909 01:02:14,453 --> 01:02:15,522 Oh, God. 910 01:02:15,613 --> 01:02:19,049 - Those cost a lot of money. Where is he? - He didn't come back, neither. 911 01:02:19,133 --> 01:02:22,762 Desmond say he see him go way, way out. 912 01:02:23,093 --> 01:02:24,572 Say he was good, too. 913 01:02:24,853 --> 01:02:25,968 Oh, my God. 914 01:02:26,053 --> 01:02:28,851 That's 10 people lost in one day. What is this, the Bermuda Triangle? 915 01:02:28,933 --> 01:02:31,367 - Shouldn't we call the police? - No, no. No, don't. 916 01:02:31,453 --> 01:02:34,650 I think they'll be calling me real soon. Now, remain calm. 917 01:02:34,733 --> 01:02:35,768 We'll go down to the marina. 918 01:02:35,853 --> 01:02:38,162 We'll get as many boats out there as possible and look for him. 919 01:02:38,253 --> 01:02:40,608 Pansy, do me a favor. Tell all the survivors, I mean, guests... 920 01:02:40,693 --> 01:02:43,002 to stay in their room, big storm coming. 921 01:02:43,093 --> 01:02:45,527 - Okay? No problem. - No problem. 922 01:02:57,413 --> 01:03:00,405 Help! Help! 923 01:03:02,533 --> 01:03:03,648 Help! 924 01:03:04,373 --> 01:03:06,603 - Help, yes. Help, help. - Hello. 925 01:03:08,973 --> 01:03:11,407 Help me, you schmucks! 926 01:03:23,573 --> 01:03:25,006 Wait. Wait, listen. 927 01:03:26,973 --> 01:03:29,441 - Is that music? - Y eah. 928 01:03:29,693 --> 01:03:31,012 That's a blender. 929 01:03:31,133 --> 01:03:33,647 - Civilization. Let's go! - We're saved! 930 01:03:33,853 --> 01:03:35,286 - Come on! - Oh, God! 931 01:03:45,213 --> 01:03:46,407 Hello. 932 01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:48,689 - We've been in the woods, so the leaf. - Hey, gorgeous. 933 01:03:48,773 --> 01:03:52,163 Look at this. We walk into the Taj Mahal, and I'm wearing a towel. 934 01:03:52,253 --> 01:03:54,209 This is completely humiliating. 935 01:03:55,533 --> 01:03:57,171 And I am wearing a leaf! 936 01:03:59,653 --> 01:04:01,644 - Any luck? - No, not a trace. 937 01:04:02,373 --> 01:04:04,329 They finally called off the search. 938 01:04:04,413 --> 01:04:07,166 Five miles out, I thought I saw a shark flossing. 939 01:04:07,773 --> 01:04:09,764 Anything I can do to help? 940 01:04:10,053 --> 01:04:12,442 Y eah. Y ou ever heard of a Chinese basket job? 941 01:04:12,533 --> 01:04:14,967 No, but it sounds like fun. 942 01:04:15,573 --> 01:04:18,292 Philadelphia, I should have taken your advice. 943 01:04:18,453 --> 01:04:20,045 I'm not cut out for this. 944 01:04:20,133 --> 01:04:22,522 Why don't I just sell to Gundy and get the hell out of here? 945 01:04:22,613 --> 01:04:24,490 Y ou can't give up now. Y ou've worked hard for this. 946 01:04:24,573 --> 01:04:27,167 What would happen to Ernest if you leave? He needs you. 947 01:04:27,253 --> 01:04:29,642 Y ou can't lie on the beach all day and pretend nothing's wrong. 948 01:04:29,733 --> 01:04:31,644 "No man is an island," Jack. 949 01:04:32,293 --> 01:04:36,366 What the hell does that mean? No man is a woman, either. God. 950 01:04:43,933 --> 01:04:45,082 Hello? 951 01:04:46,173 --> 01:04:47,322 Really? 952 01:04:47,413 --> 01:04:48,528 - They're safe. - Great. 953 01:04:48,613 --> 01:04:50,444 They found the others at the Royal Saint Nicholas. 954 01:04:50,533 --> 01:04:52,763 We'll be right there. Thank you. 955 01:04:55,613 --> 01:04:57,649 All right, ladies, let's hit the blackjack tables. 956 01:04:57,733 --> 01:05:00,691 - I think we'll have a drink first. - Y eah, you guys go ahead and go. 957 01:05:00,773 --> 01:05:02,923 - All right. Let's party. - Okay. 958 01:05:03,533 --> 01:05:04,602 Thank you. 959 01:05:04,693 --> 01:05:07,890 - Well, I guess my luck has changed, huh? - I don't think so. 960 01:05:09,013 --> 01:05:12,369 Hey, pal, where the hell did you go? I was about to send your name to Ripley's. 961 01:05:12,453 --> 01:05:14,683 Y eah, well, somebody stole our clothes. 962 01:05:14,773 --> 01:05:16,809 And then Albert Schweitzer over there panicked... 963 01:05:16,893 --> 01:05:19,088 and we ended up taking a shortcut through the suburbs. 964 01:05:19,173 --> 01:05:20,845 I'm telling you, it was fruit city out there. 965 01:05:20,933 --> 01:05:22,446 The bus leaves in five minutes, be on it... 966 01:05:22,533 --> 01:05:24,251 or I'm sending those pictures of you eating pork. 967 01:05:24,333 --> 01:05:26,324 Gather the rest of our flock. I'll round up the strays. 968 01:05:26,413 --> 01:05:27,846 Okay, come on. 969 01:05:30,213 --> 01:05:32,249 Come on, baby. Kiss it. 970 01:05:34,293 --> 01:05:37,012 Come on. Mama feels good tonight. 971 01:05:37,653 --> 01:05:39,803 - Number! - Shoot, crap two. Line away. 972 01:05:41,733 --> 01:05:45,487 Honey, that's over $1,000 already. Don't you think it's time to quit? 973 01:05:45,573 --> 01:05:48,610 Randy, I want to get to a place where I don't care about money. 974 01:05:48,693 --> 01:05:50,763 And I want you to get there with me. 975 01:05:50,853 --> 01:05:53,572 Come on, red devil! Y eah! 976 01:05:54,453 --> 01:05:56,523 Two crap two. Line away. 977 01:05:57,973 --> 01:06:00,487 - Open up a line of credit. - No! That's it. No more. 978 01:06:00,573 --> 01:06:03,371 Y ou gonna quit while you're down? I thought you were a plastic surgeon. 979 01:06:03,453 --> 01:06:06,365 Y ou shave a couple of schnozzes, and you can retire for life. 980 01:06:06,453 --> 01:06:08,364 Listen, Doc. Let her have some fun. 981 01:06:08,453 --> 01:06:09,772 The thing you do with women is... 982 01:06:09,853 --> 01:06:12,083 buy them anything they want, agree with whatever they say... 983 01:06:12,173 --> 01:06:14,209 make them happy, and jump them when they're not looking. 984 01:06:14,293 --> 01:06:15,726 And you call that a philosophy? 985 01:06:15,813 --> 01:06:16,848 How you doing tonight? 986 01:06:16,933 --> 01:06:19,242 Looks like lady luck took a hike on you. Y ou ready to go home? 987 01:06:19,333 --> 01:06:22,052 No, we've decided to stay here for the rest of the week. 988 01:06:22,133 --> 01:06:26,365 - Y ou'll be paying for it the rest of your life. - Honey, could you get me $1,000 in chips? 989 01:06:26,453 --> 01:06:29,968 That's it. I think you're having too much fun. Come on. 990 01:06:30,453 --> 01:06:33,206 - So, the fireman. - So, the middleman. 991 01:06:33,493 --> 01:06:35,449 - How you doing? - Not so good. 992 01:06:35,653 --> 01:06:37,962 What a business, huh? People are a pain in the ass. 993 01:06:38,053 --> 01:06:41,045 People are all right. It's the business I can't stand. 994 01:06:41,413 --> 01:06:43,369 Y ou look like a smart guy. 995 01:06:43,453 --> 01:06:46,843 I don't know why you're knocking your brains out in a shit hole like that, anyway. 996 01:06:46,933 --> 01:06:49,163 Why don't you let somebody put up a real hotel there? 997 01:06:49,253 --> 01:06:51,209 - Like you? - Could be. 998 01:06:52,413 --> 01:06:56,247 I'd see to it that you got out of here safe with a little money in your pocket besides. 999 01:06:56,333 --> 01:06:57,812 What do you think? 1000 01:07:02,693 --> 01:07:05,491 - Hit me. - Gonna hit an 18? 1001 01:07:07,093 --> 01:07:08,446 Twenty-one. 1002 01:07:09,173 --> 01:07:11,562 Y ou're a little crazy. I like that. 1003 01:07:12,173 --> 01:07:14,323 - Keep playing. - No, thanks. 1004 01:07:14,413 --> 01:07:17,564 Crazy, but I'm not stupid. Thanks for the offer. 1005 01:07:20,333 --> 01:07:22,563 Y ou're fired. Y our luck is rotten. 1006 01:07:22,653 --> 01:07:25,213 - I'm fired? - Nah, wait. 1007 01:07:25,293 --> 01:07:28,524 - Not your fault. Y ou're not fired. - Thank you, sir. 1008 01:07:28,613 --> 01:07:30,683 Now you're fired! Get out of here. 1009 01:07:32,213 --> 01:07:34,886 Can I get you a drink while you're waiting for a new dealer? 1010 01:08:30,013 --> 01:08:32,208 Would you excuse me for one second? 1011 01:08:36,613 --> 01:08:38,604 - Can you do me a really big favor? - No. 1012 01:08:38,693 --> 01:08:42,129 I got two chicks lined up over there that are hot to trot. 1013 01:08:42,333 --> 01:08:45,405 I can't find my friend Barry anywhere. I don't know where the hell he is. 1014 01:08:45,493 --> 01:08:48,610 - Can you join us? - Are you insane? I'm a married man. 1015 01:08:49,653 --> 01:08:51,609 Y eah, nice marriage. 1016 01:08:52,253 --> 01:08:55,245 Y ou just have to talk to them. Y ou just have to be nice. They love me. 1017 01:08:55,333 --> 01:08:58,131 We're in, I'm telling you. We'll dance, have the time of our lives. 1018 01:08:58,213 --> 01:08:59,805 I'll go back to my room. I'll get some weed. 1019 01:08:59,893 --> 01:09:01,963 Do you know what I'm saying? This is the night. Okay? 1020 01:09:02,053 --> 01:09:05,568 Just go over and keep them occupied for a couple of minutes. Go, go, go! 1021 01:09:05,653 --> 01:09:06,290 I'll be right back. 1022 01:09:09,319 --> 01:09:10,434 Barry! 1023 01:09:13,439 --> 01:09:15,794 Who's there? All right. 1024 01:09:16,559 --> 01:09:18,356 What the hell is this? 1025 01:09:25,519 --> 01:09:27,271 Oh, my God. 1026 01:09:28,559 --> 01:09:29,833 We scored! 1027 01:09:31,839 --> 01:09:33,158 We scored! 1028 01:09:33,679 --> 01:09:37,467 The score of the century! 1029 01:09:42,759 --> 01:09:44,511 There's so much. 1030 01:09:46,479 --> 01:09:48,071 There's too much. 1031 01:09:48,719 --> 01:09:50,755 This is the wrong bag. This is... 1032 01:09:51,279 --> 01:09:53,668 This is a mistake. This is... 1033 01:09:55,119 --> 01:09:57,679 It's gonna take 20 years to smoke this stuff. 1034 01:09:58,239 --> 01:10:01,037 I'm gonna get 20 years for this. That's what's gonna happen. 1035 01:10:01,119 --> 01:10:03,633 Twenty years for a mistake. 1036 01:10:08,239 --> 01:10:10,912 Please. Y es, I'll hold. 1037 01:10:10,999 --> 01:10:14,355 - Anything? - It's a long shot, but I'm trying. 1038 01:10:15,879 --> 01:10:17,198 Mr. Gundy. 1039 01:10:18,119 --> 01:10:20,997 I'll say this for you, you're prompt. When you threaten somebody... 1040 01:10:21,079 --> 01:10:23,547 - you're right on time. - Enough insults. 1041 01:10:24,079 --> 01:10:27,116 Y ou have had more than enough time to consider my offer. 1042 01:10:27,359 --> 01:10:30,874 Now I want an answer. Are you ready to sell? 1043 01:10:33,199 --> 01:10:35,667 To tell you the truth, it wasn't much of an offer. 1044 01:10:35,759 --> 01:10:39,388 Besides, we've been so damn busy today, we haven't had a chance to think about it. 1045 01:10:39,479 --> 01:10:42,198 We'll need more time on this, like maybe a year. 1046 01:10:42,559 --> 01:10:43,594 No. 1047 01:10:44,439 --> 01:10:46,111 Y our time has come. 1048 01:11:05,319 --> 01:11:06,877 - Take them! - Take them. 1049 01:11:06,959 --> 01:11:08,392 Let's go. Let's go. 1050 01:11:09,159 --> 01:11:11,434 No problem, I will talk to them. I will reason with them. 1051 01:11:11,519 --> 01:11:13,077 They've got guns. 1052 01:11:14,359 --> 01:11:16,350 They do have guns. I love you. 1053 01:11:17,079 --> 01:11:20,310 Pardon me. Mr. Reed, we have a conference with you outside. 1054 01:11:23,759 --> 01:11:25,033 After him! 1055 01:11:29,599 --> 01:11:31,555 - This way, this way. - Here! 1056 01:11:37,599 --> 01:11:38,634 Jack! 1057 01:11:43,679 --> 01:11:45,351 Do you believe this? 1058 01:12:21,879 --> 01:12:24,996 This is nice. Kind of a harvest motif. 1059 01:12:26,079 --> 01:12:28,354 Y ou better get out of here, Jack. 1060 01:12:28,839 --> 01:12:30,272 What are you gonna do? 1061 01:12:30,359 --> 01:12:33,237 - I've got friends here, they'll help me. - Help you what? 1062 01:12:33,319 --> 01:12:37,517 There's a sickness in this place, and I'm the doctor. It's time to operate. 1063 01:12:37,599 --> 01:12:39,237 Oh, no. Y ou're not going anywhere. 1064 01:12:39,319 --> 01:12:41,913 Out of my way, Jack. I don't want to hurt you. 1065 01:12:44,919 --> 01:12:47,308 - Good luck. - Just cool, Jack. 1066 01:12:48,279 --> 01:12:49,837 "Just cool, Jack." 1067 01:12:49,959 --> 01:12:52,109 Sure, go start a revolution! 1068 01:12:52,559 --> 01:12:54,709 It's not going to look good on your r�sum�, you know! 1069 01:12:54,799 --> 01:12:56,437 God damn it! 1070 01:12:56,519 --> 01:12:59,079 Y ou hear me? We're finished as partners! 1071 01:12:59,239 --> 01:13:01,707 I'm going back to Chicago where it's safe. 1072 01:13:02,239 --> 01:13:04,992 Help! Help! 1073 01:13:05,399 --> 01:13:07,515 Anybody, help me! 1074 01:13:18,879 --> 01:13:21,268 Gentlemen, I just spoke to the owner of Club Paradise... 1075 01:13:21,359 --> 01:13:23,554 and believe me, he is dying to sell. 1076 01:13:23,679 --> 01:13:26,318 We were expecting signed documents this morning. 1077 01:13:26,399 --> 01:13:28,867 Let's face it, Heinz, we're not in Switzerland. 1078 01:13:28,959 --> 01:13:30,631 With all due respects to the Prime Minister... 1079 01:13:30,719 --> 01:13:32,550 you can't even get a piece of carbon paper here... 1080 01:13:32,639 --> 01:13:34,152 that hasn't been used 100 times already. 1081 01:13:34,239 --> 01:13:36,912 But we are close. We're very, very close. 1082 01:13:36,999 --> 01:13:40,628 - Oh, very, very close. - Excellent. 1083 01:13:41,439 --> 01:13:43,430 Now, if you will excuse me... 1084 01:13:43,519 --> 01:13:46,113 I know you have urgent business, Mr. Gundy, but before you go... 1085 01:13:46,199 --> 01:13:49,316 I have a little surprise for you. 1086 01:13:49,519 --> 01:13:51,555 Because you have been so cooperative... 1087 01:13:51,639 --> 01:13:55,518 we have taken the liberty of designing a new residence for you... 1088 01:13:55,639 --> 01:13:58,756 to be built in the first phase of construction. 1089 01:13:58,879 --> 01:14:01,677 Incredible! The guy's got a heart like Dumbo. 1090 01:14:03,039 --> 01:14:05,314 Dumbo the elephant, with the big ears. 1091 01:14:05,639 --> 01:14:07,994 Like him. Not the ears, the heart. 1092 01:14:08,839 --> 01:14:10,989 Forget it. Sol, let me walk you out. 1093 01:14:11,839 --> 01:14:13,113 I thank you. 1094 01:14:16,839 --> 01:14:18,397 Sol, what's going on? 1095 01:14:18,479 --> 01:14:20,231 I wake up this morning, no coffee, no waiters... 1096 01:14:20,319 --> 01:14:22,674 no phone, no mail, no electricity, no nothing. 1097 01:14:22,759 --> 01:14:24,511 Y ou've got a general strike here. 1098 01:14:24,599 --> 01:14:27,159 I will crush Ernest Reed. 1099 01:14:27,399 --> 01:14:30,709 Okay. Don't bust a blood vessel. Y ou want a stroke? A stroke is this. 1100 01:14:30,799 --> 01:14:32,312 Y ou think that's a good look? 1101 01:14:32,399 --> 01:14:34,754 Now you gotta slow down and figure this out. 1102 01:14:34,839 --> 01:14:37,956 Now, go after Reed if you have to. But first, settle this strike. 1103 01:14:38,039 --> 01:14:40,348 Raise the minimum wage to $1 a day. 1104 01:14:40,919 --> 01:14:42,352 Sure, it's only fair. 1105 01:14:42,439 --> 01:14:45,476 $1 a day. Give a man some dignity, for crying out loud. 1106 01:14:45,559 --> 01:14:49,552 But do something, Sol. I've got 150 pounds of lobster melting in my freezer. 1107 01:14:49,639 --> 01:14:52,551 I will eat his bones. 1108 01:14:55,519 --> 01:14:56,634 Where is everything? 1109 01:14:56,719 --> 01:14:59,870 Where's the eggs, and the bacon, and all the other stuff that's usually here? 1110 01:14:59,959 --> 01:15:03,076 And, Randy, where's my bran? Y ou know, I can't start a day without fiber. 1111 01:15:03,159 --> 01:15:06,993 We're not feeding that pirate $100 a day for Rice Krispies and a banana. 1112 01:15:07,079 --> 01:15:11,391 Have you seen any of the staff? We have no towels, nor any toilet paper. 1113 01:15:11,479 --> 01:15:14,676 - Well, why don't you call housekeeping? - We have no phone. 1114 01:15:15,079 --> 01:15:17,468 Good morning! Anybody hungry? 1115 01:15:17,559 --> 01:15:20,027 Is anybody crazy? Where's breakfast? 1116 01:15:20,119 --> 01:15:23,873 Well, today we got something special. Breakfast Jump-Up. 1117 01:15:23,959 --> 01:15:25,312 And what is Breakfast Jump-Up? 1118 01:15:25,399 --> 01:15:28,994 Well, it's when you jump up and make your own breakfast. 1119 01:15:52,039 --> 01:15:53,313 I'm alive! 1120 01:15:54,399 --> 01:15:57,436 I'm alive! I made it! I'm alive! 1121 01:16:01,919 --> 01:16:03,238 I made it. 1122 01:16:05,519 --> 01:16:08,556 Okay. Stay cool. Stay cool. 1123 01:16:08,919 --> 01:16:12,116 Stay cool. Got to figure out where I am. Figure... 1124 01:16:12,999 --> 01:16:15,433 Figure 16, 18 hours out there, maybe. 1125 01:16:15,799 --> 01:16:18,916 Figure 10 miles an hour or knots. 1126 01:16:19,559 --> 01:16:24,155 Allow for the Gulf Stream and a headwind, that would put me... 1127 01:16:25,399 --> 01:16:28,789 I have no idea. I don't know where I am. What am I, a captain? 1128 01:16:28,879 --> 01:16:30,517 Stay cool. Stay cool. 1129 01:16:31,319 --> 01:16:33,150 Got to think clear now. 1130 01:16:34,359 --> 01:16:37,112 First thing I got to do, build a house. 1131 01:16:37,879 --> 01:16:40,951 People of Saint Nicholas! 1132 01:16:41,719 --> 01:16:45,598 Today is a day that will live in infamosity. 1133 01:16:46,879 --> 01:16:48,995 A day that Ernest Reed... 1134 01:16:49,119 --> 01:16:52,350 and his subversive American comrade, Jack Moniker... 1135 01:16:52,599 --> 01:16:56,751 are threatening the peace and prosperity of this... 1136 01:16:56,879 --> 01:17:00,667 our ancestral, if not native, home! 1137 01:17:03,839 --> 01:17:06,114 I, therefore, declare... 1138 01:17:06,439 --> 01:17:10,034 a national state of emergency. 1139 01:17:10,559 --> 01:17:14,234 I impose martial law. 1140 01:17:14,439 --> 01:17:16,191 And I order... 1141 01:17:16,319 --> 01:17:18,514 all members of the... 1142 01:17:18,599 --> 01:17:22,387 National Defense Reserve Army Guard... 1143 01:17:22,799 --> 01:17:26,553 to report immediately for active duty. 1144 01:17:27,319 --> 01:17:30,595 - Excuse me. I have a phone call to make. - Don't you go starting any wild rumors. 1145 01:17:30,679 --> 01:17:32,112 Let me start them. 1146 01:17:36,999 --> 01:17:38,478 I wouldn't even call it a revolution. 1147 01:17:38,559 --> 01:17:40,948 What is it? A bunch of farmers with rakes and shovels. 1148 01:17:41,039 --> 01:17:43,348 We're not gonna get an ulcer over this. 1149 01:17:43,719 --> 01:17:45,357 That's what I like about the Cayman Islands. 1150 01:17:45,439 --> 01:17:47,509 Y ou want to do business, that's the place. 1151 01:17:47,599 --> 01:17:50,955 The three of us could do some real damage in the Caymans. 1152 01:17:51,559 --> 01:17:55,472 Would you cancel that last call and transfer it to the Cayman Islands? 1153 01:17:57,399 --> 01:17:59,959 Good gracious, it's the fireman. I thought you'd gone. 1154 01:18:00,039 --> 01:18:01,791 People are so quick to flee these days. 1155 01:18:01,879 --> 01:18:04,473 First hint of a war and they start running like frightened children. 1156 01:18:04,559 --> 01:18:07,756 I was certain you'd be back in Minnesota, or Dakota, or whatever it is. 1157 01:18:07,839 --> 01:18:10,512 I can't leave here, y our Grace. I'm supporting thousands of mosquitoes. 1158 01:18:10,599 --> 01:18:11,634 This is paradise. 1159 01:18:11,719 --> 01:18:15,029 Y ou can keep looking for paradise, but I don't think you'll find it in this world. 1160 01:18:15,119 --> 01:18:16,518 What's your idea of paradise? 1161 01:18:16,599 --> 01:18:20,433 When I think of paradise, I picture myself in an expensive hotel suite in New y ork... 1162 01:18:20,519 --> 01:18:22,669 with two hopelessly depraved young women: 1163 01:18:22,759 --> 01:18:26,877 I'd love to join you, but I gotta get back to the club. See, I'm expecting an army. 1164 01:18:26,959 --> 01:18:28,597 Still the bold fireman? 1165 01:18:28,879 --> 01:18:30,312 Y ou're the same all over the world. 1166 01:18:30,399 --> 01:18:34,153 Y ou like to drive fast, throw water on things, and leave a mess. 1167 01:18:34,239 --> 01:18:37,197 Y eah, and what about you? Y ou've been hanging out here for 15 years... 1168 01:18:37,279 --> 01:18:39,873 drinking tea off a lace doily, saying, "It doesn't matter." 1169 01:18:39,959 --> 01:18:43,031 It does matter, pal, because your Prime Minister's gone completely nuts. 1170 01:18:43,119 --> 01:18:45,314 And I got a partner down there about to start a revolution... 1171 01:18:45,399 --> 01:18:48,948 and a lot of innocent people will be hurt unless you and I do something real fast. 1172 01:18:49,039 --> 01:18:51,792 'Cause it won't just stop there, 'cause if this island goes up... 1173 01:18:51,879 --> 01:18:53,597 then tomorrow another one, and another one... 1174 01:18:53,679 --> 01:18:55,954 then the Americans get nervous, and the Russians get scared. 1175 01:18:56,039 --> 01:18:58,314 Then some old fart gets really worried, pushes the button. 1176 01:18:58,399 --> 01:19:00,469 Hey! There goes Cleveland in a blinding white flash. 1177 01:19:00,559 --> 01:19:02,993 I got an uncle, Sid, who lives in Cleveland, makes this noise... 1178 01:19:03,079 --> 01:19:05,195 I don't want that on my conscience. Okay? 1179 01:19:05,279 --> 01:19:06,348 Right! 1180 01:19:06,439 --> 01:19:09,909 Y ou and Ernest go off and start the war. I'll be there shortly with a nuclear weapon. 1181 01:19:09,999 --> 01:19:11,068 - On our side? - Of course. 1182 01:19:11,159 --> 01:19:13,753 Oh, be careful of the soldiers. They'll shoot you on sight. 1183 01:19:13,839 --> 01:19:16,194 Well, I'll take an umbrella. Y our Grace. 1184 01:19:39,159 --> 01:19:42,196 Y ou're safe. But you gotta go away. 1185 01:19:42,279 --> 01:19:43,997 Hey, what kind of welcome is that? 1186 01:19:44,079 --> 01:19:47,435 - But what are you doing back here? - I've gotta put out a fire. 1187 01:19:48,119 --> 01:19:49,268 Come on. 1188 01:19:51,599 --> 01:19:54,033 Morning, everyone. One brief announcement. 1189 01:19:54,119 --> 01:19:55,677 I'd like you to gather all your possessions... 1190 01:19:55,759 --> 01:19:57,590 and meet me on the beach in five minutes. 1191 01:19:57,679 --> 01:20:01,672 No need to panic, it's just in case there's a civil war today. 1192 01:20:01,759 --> 01:20:03,317 - Civil war? - Civil war? 1193 01:20:05,639 --> 01:20:07,914 Rebels! 1194 01:20:08,159 --> 01:20:11,993 No, come on now, they're not rebels. Just a local ROTC drill team. 1195 01:20:13,679 --> 01:20:15,670 Y ou and your people had better get out of here, man. 1196 01:20:15,759 --> 01:20:17,033 Y ou're my people. 1197 01:20:17,119 --> 01:20:19,155 Phillipa is my people. Why don't we all get out of here? 1198 01:20:19,239 --> 01:20:21,707 - There's no other way. - What about a live, televised debate? 1199 01:20:21,799 --> 01:20:23,437 We have no TV, man. 1200 01:20:28,039 --> 01:20:30,997 Oh, yeah, rattan's gonna make a great bulletproof barricade. 1201 01:20:31,079 --> 01:20:34,674 - Why don't you just build a wicker tank? - The chairs you can grab. 1202 01:21:19,839 --> 01:21:23,388 Wait, wait. Stop right there. I'm going to get this. Hold on. 1203 01:21:23,959 --> 01:21:25,153 Wait a minute. 1204 01:21:25,279 --> 01:21:27,270 Hold it right there. Don't move. 1205 01:21:33,279 --> 01:21:36,237 - Move it! Get your asses... - Wait. Wait a second. 1206 01:21:36,439 --> 01:21:38,316 Hold it right there. Perfect. 1207 01:21:45,639 --> 01:21:48,836 - Barry! - Barry! I scored! 1208 01:22:11,039 --> 01:22:12,154 Nice outfit. 1209 01:22:12,239 --> 01:22:13,991 Where'd you get this? Y ou didn't bring this with. 1210 01:22:14,079 --> 01:22:15,068 No, I just got it. 1211 01:22:15,159 --> 01:22:16,228 - Is it cotton? - Hopsack. 1212 01:22:16,319 --> 01:22:18,753 - See, that's cool for this climate. - Y eah. 1213 01:22:20,239 --> 01:22:21,433 Let's go. 1214 01:22:22,439 --> 01:22:25,988 Hold it there, Mr. Gundy. I got you covered. Y ou're on my property. 1215 01:22:26,079 --> 01:22:27,273 One more move and I'll shoot. 1216 01:22:27,359 --> 01:22:29,589 Hold it right there, Mr. Island Jack. 1217 01:22:29,679 --> 01:22:33,194 I want to know what the hell's going on, and I want to know right now. 1218 01:22:33,279 --> 01:22:36,715 Listen, buddy, I'm trying to stop a war, okay? Give me a break. 1219 01:22:38,519 --> 01:22:39,668 Right on. 1220 01:22:39,759 --> 01:22:41,192 - Fire! - I hear you. 1221 01:22:51,599 --> 01:22:55,035 Limbo time. How low can you go? Go, go, go! 1222 01:23:18,959 --> 01:23:20,472 Where you going? 1223 01:23:32,959 --> 01:23:33,994 Shit! 1224 01:23:41,759 --> 01:23:43,192 What is this? 1225 01:23:44,679 --> 01:23:48,513 Up, you fools. Please, just get up! Up! Up! 1226 01:23:49,079 --> 01:23:50,114 Onward, troops! 1227 01:23:50,199 --> 01:23:53,396 Go on! Just go on and go! Get them! 1228 01:24:14,199 --> 01:24:16,349 Surrender, Ernest Reed... 1229 01:24:16,439 --> 01:24:19,351 and you will all be released unharmed. 1230 01:24:25,039 --> 01:24:26,518 He's not here! 1231 01:24:27,999 --> 01:24:29,432 Kill them all! 1232 01:24:30,879 --> 01:24:32,312 No prisoners! 1233 01:24:32,799 --> 01:24:35,552 I don't want to die, Randy! I don't want to die... 1234 01:24:36,639 --> 01:24:38,118 - Shut up. - Okay. 1235 01:24:40,879 --> 01:24:42,471 Look! Look, man! 1236 01:25:02,639 --> 01:25:04,709 Oh, y our Grace. 1237 01:25:34,439 --> 01:25:35,792 Mr. Gundy... 1238 01:25:36,039 --> 01:25:39,873 as the official representative of her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II... 1239 01:25:39,959 --> 01:25:42,712 I order you to withdraw at once, or I shall be forced to shoot you... 1240 01:25:42,799 --> 01:25:45,552 between the eyes with a rather large bullet. 1241 01:25:46,239 --> 01:25:47,672 Draw, Sir Anthony? 1242 01:25:48,119 --> 01:25:49,234 Never. 1243 01:25:49,319 --> 01:25:52,550 Soldiers, I order you to disperse that crowd at once. 1244 01:25:53,079 --> 01:25:55,468 If they don't move, shoot them. 1245 01:25:55,559 --> 01:25:57,470 They shoot, you die. 1246 01:26:00,279 --> 01:26:01,553 Y ou know... 1247 01:26:02,039 --> 01:26:04,792 it's amazing how people can get themselves in these situations... 1248 01:26:04,879 --> 01:26:06,676 when, if you stop and think about it... 1249 01:26:06,759 --> 01:26:10,752 you'll see that, basically, you guys are not that far apart on this thing. 1250 01:26:11,239 --> 01:26:12,354 Now, Sol... 1251 01:26:12,839 --> 01:26:14,511 May I call you Sol? 1252 01:26:15,319 --> 01:26:18,277 I know this high finance thing may look good to you now... 1253 01:26:18,359 --> 01:26:20,395 but I know how these guys operate. 1254 01:26:20,479 --> 01:26:24,108 A year from now, your little Swiss and Arab friend are gonna turn on you... 1255 01:26:24,199 --> 01:26:26,474 and give you the hosing of a lifetime. 1256 01:26:27,759 --> 01:26:31,115 Y ou don't see a lot of personal loyalty in big business, Sol. 1257 01:26:38,039 --> 01:26:40,758 Forget this place. Y ou guys are gonna love the Caymans. 1258 01:26:40,839 --> 01:26:42,397 Beautiful, just beautiful. 1259 01:26:42,479 --> 01:26:46,631 And the food! They got lobster there as big as a child or a small woman even. 1260 01:26:47,239 --> 01:26:48,274 Big! 1261 01:26:49,799 --> 01:26:51,869 Y our boat sailed without you, Sol. 1262 01:27:24,799 --> 01:27:27,267 - Well done, fireman. - Y ou, too, y our Grace. 1263 01:27:28,319 --> 01:27:29,752 Y eah, victory! 1264 01:27:30,999 --> 01:27:34,196 Hey, Jack. Thanks, man, for what you've done for my people. 1265 01:27:34,319 --> 01:27:37,789 It's no problem, Mr. Reed. Y ou're probably so hot right now you can get elected Pope. 1266 01:27:37,879 --> 01:27:41,952 I don't have time for politics. Business is going to be so good from now on. 1267 01:27:42,239 --> 01:27:45,788 Y eah, Club Paradise, your hot spot for fun with guns in the sun. 1268 01:27:52,519 --> 01:27:55,477 Man, look at all this weed. We are set for life with this stash. 1269 01:27:55,559 --> 01:27:58,631 - The chicks in Miami are gonna love it. - Miami! 1270 01:27:58,719 --> 01:28:00,550 We'll never make Miami with this much weight. 1271 01:28:00,639 --> 01:28:02,516 What are you doing? What are you talking about? 1272 01:28:02,599 --> 01:28:03,748 No! 1273 01:28:17,159 --> 01:28:18,592 Ganja! 1274 01:31:32,119 --> 01:31:33,108 English